Day 51-Spilled Malt

Dear UNL,

     We were walking around campus one day when we saw this.  We're not going to lie, it did want to make us cry.  Just look at the picture.  An ENTIRE malt/milkshake.... spilled on the asphalt.  Who in their right mind; 1. spills a milkshake/malt, and 2. ESPCIALLY IF IT'S FROM SONIC?!?!   That is just getting away with murder! 

     It was saddening to see how wasteful who ever the owner of this was.  We don't spill malts on campus. That is against the rules. Who wants to see spillage?  So, please tell everyone to be careful..... we want to keep all the malts/milkshakes safe. Stay classy, UNL.  We will always love you(and wish you didn't have butterfingers).

Sincerely,
killa & 

Day 50-Snowpants ona Balmy day

Dear UNL,

     Please tell us why these people are dressed in snow suits.... when it's warmer than 75 degrees outside?!  We belived we missed a memo.  We mean, is this like the "MC Hammer Parachute Pants" thing that was going on for a little bit....back when America was lost about general fashion?  We don't really want to see other people walking around in snow suits in the dead of summer! 

     These people must be from somewhere REAAAAALLLY hot\warm if they think it's cold enough for snow pants.  Though, now that we think about it, where would they get snow pants, or why would they  have snow pants, if they hail from a place where 75 degrees is cold.  That was the part that really kind of stumped us.  Did they borrow them?  Or possibly *steal* them.  We hope not.

     Please keep us updated on the current, plausible fashion trends.  Stay classy, UNL.  We will always love you(and wonder about the people who chose strange clothing).  

Sincerely,

killa & barney

Day 39-Schorr Building

Dear UNL,

     If you walk around City Campus alot, you might already know about the Schorr Building.  If not, let us tell you.

     Next to/underneath/connected to/adjacent.  Those are many words to describe the location of the Schorr building in relation to Memorial Stadium.  Now, we really have no idea what the Schorr building is for.  Sure the sign says Computer Science Center and Engineering, but after that.... we have no clue.  But if you walk over there at night, you'll see the Husker Red glow emitting from the building.  It's really quite beautiful!  And nothing says school pride like a building lit up in HUSKER RED. It kind of gives the Schorr building an eerie glow at times, if you look at it just the right way, but other than the occasional shiver that runs down your spine, it's pretty cool.

     Take time out of your nightly walk to experience the power of red.  Stay classy, UNL.  We will always love you(and the Husker red glow).

Sincerely,
killa & barney

 

Day 38 Love Library

Dear UNL,

     Husker Nation, let's reminisce about the main library here on UNL's campus.  Love library.  The library in question is one of the many surprises.

     First of all, in order to find your way around Love Library, one would need a Marauder's Map, courtesy of Harry Potter.  There are so many twists, turns, ups, downs, secret passageways and dead ends, I'm surprised we made it out alive.  Our sense of direction isn't always fantastic and spending enough time in the small rooms of many books, you might possibly lose all sense of direction.  But have no fear, just walk out, keep your right hand on the wall, & you'll find your way out eventually.

     Secondly, there are many different books in the Library!  Yes, we know you are sitting there saying "DUH! Of course there are alot of books at the LIBRARY! " But bare with us.  Spend enough time in the somewhat scary rooms, where the shelving units seem to squeeze closer and closer as you mosey your way further into the recesses of the underbelly of the library, and you'll understand.  There are volumes upon volumes of old and current magazine's such as Reader's Digest, Time, and Life.  Magazines from as early as the 1860's.  It's holding a piece of history!  How awesome is that?!  We think it's pretty awesome.

     Thirdly, we are pretty sure that Moaning Myrtle lives in the women's bathroom in the basement of Love Library.  We are not even kidding.  We're so for real it's ridiculous.  So ridiculous, it's for real.  What other explanation is there when you are standing at the sink, no where near the toilets and a toilet at the opposite end of the bathroom flushes, and no one walks out.  Obviously Moaning Myrtle.  There's no other explanation.

     So, students, take an adventure.  Maybe even get a little lost and discover a bit of history while you're at it.  Stay classy, UNL.  We will always love you(and fear getting lost).

Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 37-Stairs that Lead Nowhere

Dear UNL,

We are the stairs that don't lead anywhere, 

we just lead you down to a dead end.  

If you ask us, why we don't lead anywhere, 

We'll just tell you, we don't lead to anywhere.

well I've never led to Greenland


and I've never led to Denver


I've never led to treasure in ST Louie or ST Paul


and I've never led to Moscow


and I've never led to Tampa


and I've never led to Boston in the fall

We are the stairs that don't lead anywhere, 

we just lead you down to a dead end.  

If you ask us, why we don't lead anywhere, 

We'll just tell you, we don't lead to anywhere.

and I've never tripped a student

and I've never swabbed the landing

and I've never veered to the right, because I don’t go anywhere at all

and I've never been a gang plank

and I've never owned a teacher

and I've never led to Boston in the fall

We are the stairs that don't lead anywhere, 

we just lead you down to a dead end.  

If you ask us, why we don't lead anywhere, 

We'll just tell you, we don't lead to anywhere.

I've never plucked a rooster

and I am not too good at ping-pong

and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall

and I've never kissed a Husker,

and I've never gotten head lice

and I have never led to Boston in the fall

We are the stairs that don't lead anywhere, 

we just lead you down to a dead end.   

If you ask us, why we don't lead anywhere, 

We'll just tell you, we don't lead to anywhere.  

and I've never licked a football

and I've always sniffed a stinky shoe

and I've never painted Daisies on a big red rubber ball

and I've never bathed in anything

and I don't look good in leggings

and I've never led to Boston in the fall

We are the stairs that don't lead anywhere, 

we just lead you down to a dead end.  

If you ask us, why we don't lead anywhere, 

We'll just tell you, we don't lead to anywhere.

We’d like to take this moment to thank Veggie Tales.  Students and professors alike, take time out of your day to sing silly songs with barney and killa.

Stay classy UNL, we will always love you!

Sincerely,

barney and killa

Day 34 - Man on Sidewalk

Dear UNL, 

As we were wandering into the city campus union one afternoon, we discovered a very special man.  His name? Bartholomew.  He was last seen on one specific cement block outside the union....and will probably still be there.  He is dressed head to toe in black....including his skin.  He has no feet, or fingers, and is missing a neck.  If you see him, please let us know.  We would like to add him to our work team.

Thanks ever so much!  Stay classy, UNL.  We will always love you(and look for Bartholomew).

Sincerely,

barney & killa

Day 33-Architecture Hall

Dear UNL,

     There is a building on campus that is unlike any other building on UNL's campus.  This particular building is located on City Campus and it's a bit hidden from the every day path of the usual student.  The building we are talking about is the Architecture Hall, located to the south west of the Westbrook building.  We, for one, had no idea this building was here.  It's a special building hidden in the trees.

     When first walkig up to it, you will see a pretty red brick building that doesn't look like it quite belongs in the capitol of Nebraska.  Maybe somewhere in England or New York.  However, once you go in the double doors to the north of the building, you realize that there is more to the building that what you see on the out side.  Walking inside, you see levels upon levels or chairs, stair cases, and the elevator. Continue walking inside and you see the other part of the building.  Believe it or not, the red part of the Arch Hall building was added onto another building.  The College of Law building to be exact.  It's a building within a building.  It looks pretty awesome if we do say so ourselves. 

     So, take a look for yourselves, fellow students, and take part in enjoying the structuring and architecture that is present.  Stay classy, UNL.  We will always love you(and be confused when we first see buildings in buildings).

Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 32 - Union Creepers?

Dear UNL,

We were very concerned tonight sitting in the union, causally minding our own business eating some banana chocolate chip ice cream from the dairy store.  You see, there were 4 hooded figures in all red monk-esque robes walking through the union in a straight line; if we didn't know better, we would have said they were the Dementors themselves....

Not only did they walk creepily in a straight line with their hoods drawn, but they were glaring at any and all passers-by.  We just tried to avoid looking at their eyes.............

Stay classy UNL.  We will always love you! (But will be mortally terrified of your hooded figures...)

Sincerely,
barney and killa

Day 30- Selleck Dining Hall

Dear UNL,

     Today was the start of a brand new adventure.  It took in part of going out of our comfort zones and blasting in, guns ablazing.  Ok, well maybe not guns ablazing.  More like walking inside the doors of Selleck slowly, wondering if anyone was going to stop us.  See, we've never been to the Selleck Dining Hall before, and it was something we were willing to try. Granted, that was in part of barney's incessant need of food..... Yes. That was part of the blame.

     However, the adventure in and of itself, is definitely worth the recount.  We are sure you will all enjoy the misfortunes that befell some in the dining hall.  First of all, when walking into the Selleck Dining Hall, make sure the lady who is taking your money is, in fact, paying attention to you paying (that is, if you're paying with cash) for your meal.  Other wise, she'll give you the incorrect change and vast amounts of confusion ensues.  She'll catch you as you are walking away, talking to your friends and not even looking at the change she gave you, prefering instead, to trust those employed by the great state of Nebraska and it's secondary schooling.  Fellow students, don't trust those employed.  Not that we are saying that they are keeping your change on purpose, but sometimes when people start talking while they are supposed to be working, some things are pushed to the side and only partially accounted for.  Once she catches you, she'll ask you what change she gave you.  This tactic we believe is partially pushed by the Mathematics department.  They are requiring you to think on your feet and be able to do math with the snap of your fingers.  If you are like barney, this will come with some difficulty, leaning towards sticking your hand out to the "lunch lady" for her to count, as you know it will go faster if she does it instead of you.  If you are like killa, the math will be easy cheesy and you'll have counted your change, remembered what you paid with, have subtracted it from the cost of your meal and demanded your correct change.  (Actually, if you're like killa, you will have used a meal plan like most students on campus).  Once the confusion is fixed and you have the correct change and the lunch lady is subdued, you are free to find a seat in the vast array of tables and chairs that is the Selleck Hall Dining Area.  Good luck.  May the force be with you.

     Once you've found a spot to pop a squat and you've set all your belongings down, it's time to experience the amazingness of food.  Imagine with us.  You are walking past the tables, past the lunch lady with minute mathematical problems and to the lines of food.  Look to your left and you see the beverage line, the silverware, and the ice cream.  Slowly move your head towards the middle and you see the salad bar, ethinic food, and good old pizza!  Move to the right and you see turkey burgers, french fries, rows upon rows of cereal, and yet another salad bar.  Could this be any more perfect?!  Go for it.  We dare you.  Pick up a plate and eat your way into oblivion.  All you can eat for the low price of $7.25.  Sounds perfect for the college student.

     One of the nice things about the Dining Hall in Selleck, is that it is the prime spot for people watching.  People don't think when they eat, so anytime it's customary for people to eat, you get to see their true sides.  Take, for instance,  the one guy we noticed sitting by himself, watching/reading something on his computer screen.  He was also attempting, yes attempting, to eat noodles at the same time.  He had his headphones in and was totally engrossed in whatever was on the screen.  Now as he is getting ready to take another bite, something happens on the screen and his attention is thus diverted and his attempt to shovel the noodles into his mouth is thwarted.  His noodles slip, unnoticed, off his fork onto the table top, almost onto his lap.   We were not aware that it was customary to eat your noodles off the table.

     Other things we've noticed are as follows:

• If you are a college aged male, you are required to shove 7 pieces of pizza into your mouth at one time.
• Spoons and forks are just a suggestion.  Just because they are there and available, doesn't mean you have to use them.
• The strawberries and cream are very popular choices at the Selleck Dining Hall.
• Napkins are also, only a suggestion.
• Talking with your mouth full and extremely open is, surprisingly, polite here in the world of college students.  (unfortuntately)

     These are the times we've experienced in our first time at the Selleck Dining Hall.  Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and cringe at the manners of the college students).

Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 29- UNL Cornhusker Marching Band

Dear UNL,

We would like to thank you. Early in the morning, when walking to the campus Rec, or to class, or maybe for some of you fellow readers and students, to the library, we are able to enjoy the wonderous sounds of the UNL Marching Band. If you happen to be walking past Memorial Stadium, you might (as we have) stop for a moment or two to watch the band practice.

We know for us, walking past during the practice takes us back to the good old days. We reminisce of the days in our very own high school marching bands. The shout of commands from the band director and the incessant, mind numbing, soul hitting beat of the metronome. Yes. It takes us back.

We've even found ourselves (unknowingly, of course) stepping in time to the music we hear, not so much trickling more like blaring, out of the stadium. Imagine our surprise when we even notice that we are in step!! Marching band has been ingrained in our minds so much that 3 or 4 years later, we are still, shall we say, brainwashed.

It was almost as if we weren't in control of our bodies! But don't get us wrong. We thoroughly enjoy the small trips down memory lane. It's ok to get stuck in the past. However, if anyone ever wants to take over the world, might we suggest an extra loud, extra annoying metronome and a hard as heck band director to call out commands. We promise all current and past marching band kids will find themselves snapping to attention and marching in lockstep. A full response shouting, command following, crowd of drones. It will be entertaining, we promise you that.

UNL Cornhusker Marching Band, keep at it, you sound great. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and march in lockstep to society's expectations).

Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 28- Creeper at UNL Rec Center C/O UNL

Dear Creeper,

Please do not stare openly at us while we work on the total body circuit. It's quite unnerving and very, very creepy. Just because we are in your direct line of vision, doesn't mean we want to be the object of your interest. There are TV's by you. WATCH THEM! Contrary to popular belief, we do not come to the Rec Center to be gawked at, stared at, leered at, or even laughed at (though, we didn't see you doing that....at least openly). Are we at the ZOO?! No, so if you're going to look, look quick and look away. We caught you and then it got awkward.

K thanksbye! Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and watch out for creepers at the Rec).

Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 27- The Fountain

Dear UNL,

     We should all take time to stop by the fountain outside of the City Union and take a moment to dip our feet in while it is still somewhat nice outside.  Soon, the water will be drained and we will all have to wait until next May, to experience the feeling of the cool water.  So, students of UNL, if you're passing by the fountain, take a load off.  Dip your feet into the magical waters and see if you are the recipient of magical powers!

     Stay classy, UNL.  We will always love you.

Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 26- Awkward Momets On Campus; Part 1

Dear UNL,

     This particular letter could actually be a written novel. But we feel we must share with you. There are so many awkward moments on campus, we wish we could videotape them all for you, and post them on youtube so everyone could join in on the entertainment. But that wouldn't be very nice of us, and for the most part, we enjoy being nice. Now keep in mind, that we can't see ALL the awkward moments on campus, so we're just going to write about the ones we do see. (DUH). But if you feel that we missed one, by all means, let us know!

     One of these said moments, happened when killa was driving through campus and she witnessed a man skipping through the grass carrying a butterfly net. But just wait, it gets awkwarder..... More awkward. He was also singing! Now who on our great planet Earth, does that?! Was he trying to catch butterflies? If so, what was he planning on doing with them? And why the heck, in the name of all things Husker, was he singing???? That is the part that stumps us the most. Is there some "Skipping-while-catching-butterflies-in-the-grass" musical that we don't know about? If anyone could tell us what's going on, that would be much appreciated.

     Secondly, a couple of days ago, while barney was walking on campus, they noticed a person sitting off to the side of the sidewalk/path. Now barney didn't think much of it until she got closer. Said person was sitting crosslegged, in a skirt, eating cheese and talking to the tree. Yes, you read right. Talking to the tree. barney was a bit confused, so she slowed her gait down a bit in hopes of catching part of the.....conversation. Now wait ladies and gentlemen, this is going to get good. The first thing barney heard was the woman say, "So, great oak, why are you so tall?". Now, being completely honest here. barney, being the curious college student that she is, listened to hear what the great oak would respond, before realizing what she was doing and paying more attention to the woman. After a few seconds, the woman asked another question. "Great oak, would you like some cheese? I'll share with you and you can eat it while you share your tale of greatness and how annoying squirrels can be.". As much as barney wanted to learn the tale of the oak's greatness, she was going to be late for class, so she hurried over to her building. We shake our heads at this. Sure people can talk to inatimate objects. Heck, we do it all the time. But to have an actual conversation and to OFFER them CHEESE? That's completely out of our league. UNL, we wonder. We really, really wonder.

     Now of course there are more awkward moments to write of, but no one likes to read loooong letters, so we'll spare you and come back with some more. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and look forward to awkward moments we can cherish).

Sincerely
killa & barney

Day 25- Gallant Elite

Dear UNL,

     We've noticed, UNL. Don't think we haven't noticed. "What in the world are you talking about?" You're saying in your head right now(or so we think). We will ease your confusion, hang tight.

Gallantry: 1. Nobility of spirit or action; courage. 2. Chivalrous attention toward women; coutliness.

     When we say that what is your first response? Maybe it would be medieval knights fighting firey dragons to save a Damsel in distress. Or maybe its a prince on a beautiful white steed with a jousting stick. Or quite possibly, its Sir Gallahad or Sir Lionel (no, not Richie), both of which were knights as well.

     Keeping that in mind, we'd like to tell you of some thing we've found. Hidden here on UNL's campus, we've found gallant knights clad in red, with white helmets. These red and white knights we speak of? None other than our own University of Nebraska Cornhusker Football team. Now, hang on there. We haven't seen the ENTIRE team acting in these ways, just a select few. But the number is growing steadily, everyday.

     First on our list of the Gallant Elite is Husker Defensive Tackle, Jared Crick. Up until this moment in time(approximately a week and a half ago) we had never seen such manners on campus. Someone we knew relayed this story to us and we believe we had to share it. She was walking into the Westbrook building and he gallantly held the door open for her. How nice was that?

     Not even a week later, Nebraska Linebacker, Alonzo Whaley, joined the ranks of the Gallant Elite. killa was on her way to class and found herself stunped by the large, heavy, immobile door. Have no fear, killa! Alonzo Whaley is here! He got right on it, defeating the evil, heavy door and opened it for the Damsel in distress, our very own killa. If it hadn't been for him, killa would still be stuck in the building! Thank you, Alonzo Whaley!

     Now, the headlines should read: "The Gallant Elite Strikes Again!". However, sadly they don't. Either way, just today, it was witnessed that our Nebraska Cornernback, Prince Amukamara(who was/is frankly the founder of the Gallant Elite) was crowned king of the hour. He was seen on campus, holding the door for not one! Not Two! But four ladies walking outside. What a gentleman! If only we could find more like him on campus.

     Gentlemen of UNL, read closely and take notes. The Gallant Elite have set a high standard for you. Ladies of UNL, please say "Thank you!" When a guy holds the door open for you. He doesn't have to. He's just being polite. We need more polite people on campus.

     Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what UNL can be. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and keep our eye out for the Gallant Elite).

Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 24- Tornado Siren Drills

Dear UNL,

     We know that it is for our own safety and well-being that you test the tornado sirens out. However, please don't test them on a beautiful day like today. Test them when it's super windy or reaaaaly hot or all around gloomy. We mean, obviously not on days where it could trick some people into heartattacks because they might think there's a tornado. Most of us, Nebraskans, no what's what. But we have quite a few people here from different countries and we wouldn't want to confuse them. The sirens are an invader of the peace for those of us trying to enjoy the beeeaauutiful weather.

     We thank you for keeping us safe. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you ( and be eternally grateful for your practices to keep us out of harm's way).

Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 23 - Campus Celebrities: Part Deux

Dear UNL,

This is not so much a letter to ya'll, but a shout-out to some of our favorite campus celebrities. (Granted, everyone can still read it, and enjoy some of the triumphs (and failures...) of the campus elite)

1.  The first shout out goes to Alonzo Whaley.  Thank you for being the FIRST courteous football star we have encountered on campus.  Killa was very appreciative of how you held the door for her walking into class, even though she was at least 30 feet away.  It was a very polite gesture, and we are proud of you!! Thanks Alonzo! You are our new favorite player, just because you are so polite!

2.  And now...to pick on him yet again....Niles Paul.  Please Niles, DO NOT...I repeat DO NOT follow Dejon Gomes when he jaywalks.  Ok?!?!?  Especially while texting, man...PLEASE! As funny as it was to watch you scream like a little girl as you almost got hit by a truck; the Huskers need you, so please don't do it again! You know how you run so fast on the field? Please use that skill when avoiding traffic next time.

3.  Adi Kunalic, Dejon Gomes, Niles Paul, and your friends...
We know you guys are celebrities.  (and we love seeing you guys around campus) Duh.  But please do not act like the "plastics" from Mean Girls (we mean this in the nicest possible sense); walking side by side down the sidewalk, blocking anyone from passing you.  And if you insist on doing this...please walk at a faster pace than that of a turtle.  We have seen you on the football field, we know you can move fast.  Some of us are not going to the NFL, and actually need to get to class to make something of ourselves in the future.

Stay classy UNL! We will always love you (and the entertainment/occasional courtesy your football players bring)

Sincerely,
barney and killa

Day 22- Nebraska Vs. Missouri Game

Dear UNL,

     What a game this was!  We can say the student section has greatly improved since our last letter.  So many things to talk about with this game. Good things, bad things, and some overall HuskerNation ness things.

     First of all, the student section was loads and loads better and more respectful that at the last home game.  Yes, of course there was your usual potty mouthed, "nothing is ever fair" fan who thinks every call from a ref is fixed.  But besides that, the student fans were hyper, ecstatic, and great fans of football.  We were proud to sit in the student section this time.  Well done.

     Secondly, the Huskers started off the first quarter with a BANG! Which was completely and utterly fantastic!  Just minutes into the game, 2:44 PM to be exact, Roy Helu Jr (who we'll get to in a moment) ran a 66-yd touchdown for Nebraska!!!!  The student section, to say the least, went bezonkers!  And the game just kept getting better from there!  We had alot of really great tackles from the Nebraska Blackshirts (and yes, we had some misses as well) and DeJon Gomes really played his part this game. 

     One of the things we noticed, YET AGAIN, was the opposing team, in this case Mizzou, throwing the bones.  WHAT THE HECK?!  Why does every team we play, think they can throw the bones?  That's ours and ours alone.  It's kind of aggrivating.  Also, many of Mizzou's players had little bouts of anger, and their anger management doesn't work very well.  Roughing our players infront of the refs?  Missouri, there is no reason for you to shove and hit our players on the field.  Period.

     Yet, some of the good things we saw on the field are as follows.  Missouri Sports Medicine trainers running out onto the field to help Huskers Defensive Back Ciante Evans when he was taken down in the endzone.  Moments like those show it's not all about winning the game, it's about having a good time and making sure people are ok.  Also, out of nowhere, COURTNEY OSBOURNE TACKLES MIZZOU QUARTER BACK!!!!!!  That was awesome!!! The fans, including us, went willlld!  And maybe Mizzou isn't such a bad team.  Player #85 of the Tigers leaned down to give Roy Helu Jr. a hand up after he took him down.  Good sportsmanship, Tigers!

     Some of the crazy stuff that happened at this game are as follows.  "The Cornhuskers played without quarterback Taylor Martinez in the second half after he came up hobbling following a hit from Kenji Jackson on a run late in the second quarter. Zac Lee took over to start the third quarter."- Huskersillustrated.com.  Luckily for most of the Nebraska Husker fans ( we like all of our players), Martinez is expected to be ok for next week's game.  Also, "Helu was sensational carrying the offensive load whether Martinez was in or out of the game. He totaled 228 yards after his first 10 carries on his way to breaking the Nebraska record of 294 yards set by Calvin Jones against Kansas in 1991."-Huskersillustrated.com.  Nebraska Cornhuskers Running Back, #10, Roy Helu Jr. was amazing this game.  It was heard several times around the student section that he was this games "MVP".  We just have to agree with that.  Did we mention, HE BEAT that record by Calvin Jones!!!! A whopping 307 yards in a SINGLE GAME!! The plays he made were fantastic. The team was doing a great job playing as a team and Helu was able to make some runs and take some hits that ended up giving us the game!

     All in all, it was a great game.  Stay classy, UNL.  We will always love you (and players like Roy Helu Jr.).

Sincerely,
killa & barney

    

    

Day 20 - The Red/White Blur

Dear UNL,

Beware! The celebrity known as the Red/White blur can be seen SPRINTING through the commuter parking lot near Memorial Stadium.  No, it is not Clark Kent, the Red/Blue Blur....it is none other than the Husker-Adidas clad Niles Paul.  We have no idea the reason for his urgency through the parking lot, but we are sure it was very, very important.  Like saving a life, or catching a stray football flying from Memorial Stadium.

Stay classy UNL, and...just be careful walking through the parking lots.

Sincerely,
barney & killa

Day 7- Anthony M. C/O UNL

Dear UNL,

     You are very smart to hire nice people to work in City Union eatery. More specifically, at sbarro, the Italian eatery.  Yes, on a side note, we do love the word eatery.  Eatery, eatery, eatery.  Back to our letter of thanks.  At the sbarro on City campus, is a very nice Assistant Manager named Anthony M. 

     Mr. Anthony M, YOU ROCK n ROLL!!  Why does this Anthony M, "rock n roll", you might ask?  We were strapped for cash. Ok, actually, barney was strapped for cash. More specifically, she thought she had $6.00 and killa was a team player and lent barney her last dollar in her possesion.  So barney thought she had $7.00... and some change.  Logical, right?  Welll, turns out barney is stupid and she had one less dollar than she thought.  But didn't realize this until after she had her food and drink cup and Mr. Anthony M had rung her up. 

     She goes to get her money for her total, $7.68.  But alas, she only had $6 dollars and some change.  Mr. Anthony M.  (the rockstar) takes her money, not like a mugger.... that would be sad, and gives her the drink..... Wait for ittttt!  FOR FREEEEEEE! Barney is forever indebted to Mr. Anthony M.

     Mr. Anthony M. You get the "Awesomest, sbarro worker EVER" award.  Stay classy, UNL.  We will always love you!  ( and Anthony M too... barney promised)


Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 1- Stalkers

Dear UNL,

    What is with the stalkers!?  We've been here for a year already and we've racked up about 25 stalkers already.  That is just so not cool. Did we miss something?  Is there a clause on the UNL application that states "May be subject to several stalkers.  Some creepy and disturbing and others just plain annoying."  If that's so, I believe we both missed.

    Not that UNL, you are a great school, but a little warning would have been nice.  For some things we like to be prepared.

    Althought, we have had some great times with our stalkers.  Take Cowboy Bob, for instance.  We had a good laugh when he helped with that stupid car. Unfortunately his chivalry was rewarded with a drop of scalding oil in his eye.  Thankfully he survived, but was still in select stalker status.

    We have had a couple in Premier stalker status. Let's go with CG, or Creepy Giggler.  ASCI 100 was a great class to have a creeper.  Please note our sarcasm.  Watching us all class period is just....WEIRD! Like, look around every once in a while, or something!!  Or maybe make it not so obvious?!  Yes.  That's a plan.  Make it not so obvious.  However, when you are in the unio, please don't ever change.  We do truly love to laugh at your giggling while reading the paper.  Now don't think we can't see your eyes looking at us over the tope of your paper, because we do.  But when you laugh about something you read, we enjoy the four year old girl giggle that you have.  We enjoy laughing at you.  That's the truth.

    Another group that have Premier stalker status  went out to the three guys at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.  Those guys were just.....creepy.  Now, UNL,  we know that you are thinking; "There's no Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory here on campus.  What you talking about, Willis?"  Buuuuuut, if we didn't have such weirdos on your campus, we wouldn't have to leave campus to go to the mall.  Little did we know the mall would be worse.  We'd get our snocones and "mall walk".  Can you guess what the little freakazoids were doing?  Watching us out their window in the back, until we pass out of view.  When they weren't hiding their creepy butts in the back, they'd all gather in the front and talk, and as we walked by the front counter, they would stop until we were almost passed.  We are pretty sure they were only, like, 16.  At least two out of the three.  It was just weird.

    We have many more, but none that have stories as amusing as those.  So until next time!  UNL, stay classy!  We will always love you!

Sincerely,
killa & barney