Dear UNL,
This particular letter could actually be a written novel. But we feel we must share with you. There are so many awkward moments on campus, we wish we could videotape them all for you, and post them on youtube so everyone could join in on the entertainment. But that wouldn't be very nice of us, and for the most part, we enjoy being nice. Now keep in mind, that we can't see ALL the awkward moments on campus, so we're just going to write about the ones we do see. (DUH). But if you feel that we missed one, by all means, let us know!
One of these said moments, happened when killa was driving through campus and she witnessed a man skipping through the grass carrying a butterfly net. But just wait, it gets awkwarder..... More awkward. He was also singing! Now who on our great planet Earth, does that?! Was he trying to catch butterflies? If so, what was he planning on doing with them? And why the heck, in the name of all things Husker, was he singing???? That is the part that stumps us the most. Is there some "Skipping-while-catching-butterflies-in-the-grass" musical that we don't know about? If anyone could tell us what's going on, that would be much appreciated.
Secondly, a couple of days ago, while barney was walking on campus, they noticed a person sitting off to the side of the sidewalk/path. Now barney didn't think much of it until she got closer. Said person was sitting crosslegged, in a skirt, eating cheese and talking to the tree. Yes, you read right. Talking to the tree. barney was a bit confused, so she slowed her gait down a bit in hopes of catching part of the.....conversation. Now wait ladies and gentlemen, this is going to get good. The first thing barney heard was the woman say, "So, great oak, why are you so tall?". Now, being completely honest here. barney, being the curious college student that she is, listened to hear what the great oak would respond, before realizing what she was doing and paying more attention to the woman. After a few seconds, the woman asked another question. "Great oak, would you like some cheese? I'll share with you and you can eat it while you share your tale of greatness and how annoying squirrels can be.". As much as barney wanted to learn the tale of the oak's greatness, she was going to be late for class, so she hurried over to her building. We shake our heads at this. Sure people can talk to inatimate objects. Heck, we do it all the time. But to have an actual conversation and to OFFER them CHEESE? That's completely out of our league. UNL, we wonder. We really, really wonder.
Now of course there are more awkward moments to write of, but no one likes to read loooong letters, so we'll spare you and come back with some more. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and look forward to awkward moments we can cherish).
Sincerely
killa & barney
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