Day 30- Selleck Dining Hall

Dear UNL,

     Today was the start of a brand new adventure.  It took in part of going out of our comfort zones and blasting in, guns ablazing.  Ok, well maybe not guns ablazing.  More like walking inside the doors of Selleck slowly, wondering if anyone was going to stop us.  See, we've never been to the Selleck Dining Hall before, and it was something we were willing to try. Granted, that was in part of barney's incessant need of food..... Yes. That was part of the blame.

     However, the adventure in and of itself, is definitely worth the recount.  We are sure you will all enjoy the misfortunes that befell some in the dining hall.  First of all, when walking into the Selleck Dining Hall, make sure the lady who is taking your money is, in fact, paying attention to you paying (that is, if you're paying with cash) for your meal.  Other wise, she'll give you the incorrect change and vast amounts of confusion ensues.  She'll catch you as you are walking away, talking to your friends and not even looking at the change she gave you, prefering instead, to trust those employed by the great state of Nebraska and it's secondary schooling.  Fellow students, don't trust those employed.  Not that we are saying that they are keeping your change on purpose, but sometimes when people start talking while they are supposed to be working, some things are pushed to the side and only partially accounted for.  Once she catches you, she'll ask you what change she gave you.  This tactic we believe is partially pushed by the Mathematics department.  They are requiring you to think on your feet and be able to do math with the snap of your fingers.  If you are like barney, this will come with some difficulty, leaning towards sticking your hand out to the "lunch lady" for her to count, as you know it will go faster if she does it instead of you.  If you are like killa, the math will be easy cheesy and you'll have counted your change, remembered what you paid with, have subtracted it from the cost of your meal and demanded your correct change.  (Actually, if you're like killa, you will have used a meal plan like most students on campus).  Once the confusion is fixed and you have the correct change and the lunch lady is subdued, you are free to find a seat in the vast array of tables and chairs that is the Selleck Hall Dining Area.  Good luck.  May the force be with you.

     Once you've found a spot to pop a squat and you've set all your belongings down, it's time to experience the amazingness of food.  Imagine with us.  You are walking past the tables, past the lunch lady with minute mathematical problems and to the lines of food.  Look to your left and you see the beverage line, the silverware, and the ice cream.  Slowly move your head towards the middle and you see the salad bar, ethinic food, and good old pizza!  Move to the right and you see turkey burgers, french fries, rows upon rows of cereal, and yet another salad bar.  Could this be any more perfect?!  Go for it.  We dare you.  Pick up a plate and eat your way into oblivion.  All you can eat for the low price of $7.25.  Sounds perfect for the college student.

     One of the nice things about the Dining Hall in Selleck, is that it is the prime spot for people watching.  People don't think when they eat, so anytime it's customary for people to eat, you get to see their true sides.  Take, for instance,  the one guy we noticed sitting by himself, watching/reading something on his computer screen.  He was also attempting, yes attempting, to eat noodles at the same time.  He had his headphones in and was totally engrossed in whatever was on the screen.  Now as he is getting ready to take another bite, something happens on the screen and his attention is thus diverted and his attempt to shovel the noodles into his mouth is thwarted.  His noodles slip, unnoticed, off his fork onto the table top, almost onto his lap.   We were not aware that it was customary to eat your noodles off the table.

     Other things we've noticed are as follows:

• If you are a college aged male, you are required to shove 7 pieces of pizza into your mouth at one time.
• Spoons and forks are just a suggestion.  Just because they are there and available, doesn't mean you have to use them.
• The strawberries and cream are very popular choices at the Selleck Dining Hall.
• Napkins are also, only a suggestion.
• Talking with your mouth full and extremely open is, surprisingly, polite here in the world of college students.  (unfortuntately)

     These are the times we've experienced in our first time at the Selleck Dining Hall.  Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and cringe at the manners of the college students).

Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 17- Nebraska vs. Texas Game

Dear UNL,

     We are very disappointed in you, today.  Now before you say everyone in the state of Nebraska is sad and upset, let us explain why.  Yes, we know we lost the game today, but what went on at the game is what we would like to ...talk about.

     First of all, the student section at the football games are uber packed, just in case you didn't know.  Let's sure hope that whoever is sitting in those particular sections are not claustrophobic.  Everyone attending as a student will have to be ok with their "personal bubble" being somewhat poked and prodded.  We are all one big happy family for the 4 hours of the game. 

     Secondly, you should probably teach your students the meaning of respect.   Even if it means singing Aretha Franklin over and over and over again until they get the picture.  Sure!  It's all fine and dandy to cheer for your team.  Who doesn't want their team to beat the other one?  But that doesn't mean that our student fans need to yell obscenities to the other team before the game even starts. 

     When the game is going, please don't yell about how Niles Paul "needs to loose his scholarship" or how they need to "run the flippin' dog bat ball".  (Now please understand, at the moment, we are substituting some not so lovely words with others.  We don't want to offend our followig.)  Yeah, get into the game. That's part of what makes football so awesome!  You can get into the game and sometimes, it's like you're right on the field, in the middle of all the action.

     But we shake our heads in disappointment, as we turn to look at those students who are being immature and stupid in the stands.  Yeah, this particular game was not our shining moment.  But we doubt if those particuar students had been on the field instead of the current players, it would have been more of a mess up.  Niles Paul does not need to loose his scholarship and we did run the ball a little.  So stop your stupid students, who are screaming about how they are "so angry they're gonna kick puppies.  Even babies, it they're ugly.".  We don't want to hear that and neither does anyone else in the stands.  Shut your foul potty mouth and stop using the F-bomb against every Husker play.  Grow up.

     UNL, it makes us sad when we hear other student fans wishing that the Texas cheerleaders would break their arms and how they are ashamed to be Cornhuskers.  It reflects badly on those students (like us) who like the enjoy the game in a ...shall we say healthy?  way.  We're just as sad as those students, but we can watch the game with respect for the other team.  In fact, we don't clap and cheer when a Texas player is hurt or boo when said player finally gets up to walk, or in his case, hobble, off the field.  Thankfully, there were other students in our section today who had enough of his trash talk and had said some stuff to him, that shut him up, at least temporarily.

     Now, Texas has some rude moments of their own.  First of all, if the HUSKER MARCHING BAND is playing the UNL Fight Song, TEXAS BAND!  STOP PLAYING OVER US!  We don't do that to you!  There is  no reason to try and out play the UNL fight song.  Especially if you guys are winning, dumb dumbs.  And to be the Texas Football player who "threw the bones" after he tackled the Husker player?  Yeah, so not cool.  The Cornhusker Defensive line and fans can throw the bones.  Just us and ONLY us.  Got it?  Good.

     Yes, we admit this game was depressing and Mr. Eric Hagg gave us some false hope.  But all in all, it could have been worse. Stay classy, UNL and clean up your act.  We will always hate student fans like those (and hopefully love you).  GO HUSKERS!

Sincerely,
killa & barney

Day 4- What is with the STARING?!

Dear UNL

     Pheromones: Substance released in minute amounts by an animal that causes a specific response when detected by another animal. (Webster's Dictionary)

     Mean-amones: A chemical emitted that triggers evil glares from random girls, due to jealousy and rage; source of chemical....unknown.  (killa's brilliant mind)

     Those two little words up there have been on our minds for quite some time.  We don't really know what it is about UNL, or rather Lincoln females in general, but those blasted, bloody "Mean-amones" are out to get us.  We mean, yeah sure, everyone has a few stalkers, right?  But females that (some of them, anyway) glare at you with open hatred every time you see them?!?!  There is definitely something wrong with that.

     It all started back in September, we want to say, of our first year.  The crazy girl in the Dairy Store who decided she was going to watch us the whole time she was eating.  If barney got up to go get something, her dagger shooting eyes were following, throwing harpoons at her back.  Even killa had no idea what was going on.  Did either of us know that girl?  No, not in any way what so ever... Did that stop the crazy, psychopathic girl?  Not in the slightest.  We wish we could say it stops here.... That was our only crazy lady.

     Thaaat would make it much to easy, dear UNL.  Since then we've each racked up at least 7 or 8 people who are consistent.... and millions and millions of random females who feel it best to glare the heck out of us.  Now, don't get into a tizzy.  If we had done something completely and utterly awesome, something that everyone would be jealous of, then we'd understand completely.  But that's the problem. We have no idea what we did that has garnered us this , to put it plainly, unwanted attention.  We wish we had something to stop it as well.  Magic powers, shields, mustard gas...maybe even a mean-amone sniffing dragon. 

     We don't understand and wish you could shed some light onto the situation.  It's really starting to get us down. But don't get us wrong.  We still love you!  Stay classy, UNL! 

Sincerely,
killa & barney