Many a student have said you have a rodent infestation. We, however, think that the current population in question, is in fact, one of the reasons we look forward to class everyday. The population that we are talking about is not the abundance of football or basketball players(though we do enjoy campus celebrities), or students who have appeared to have dressed in the dark. We are in fact talking about.... wait for iiiit! SQUIRRELS!
Yes, the small animal that has made it's debut in Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The small creature that eats acorns and has a fluffly tail. The adorable animal that Merlin turns into in Disney's The Sword in The Stone. Do you know what we are talking about? A tad bit bigger than a common, domesticated rat, short ears, paws and bouncy hind legs with a FLUFFY tail!
They are everywhere on campus and provide hours upon hours of entertainment for us. killa has a squirrel admirerer/stalker who sits outside the window and tries to share it's dinner or talk about it's life. It seems to know when the window is open and sits on the tree branch exactly level with killa's window. It doesn't seem to care if we respond or not, content to just sit and nibble on it's acorn with practiced ease. We do not, however, know if it is a boy or a girl, so naming it is on hold for the time being. Bare with us, UNL, we will name it soon. PROMISE!
barney on the other hand, has a squirrel that loves to attack with acorns. For some reason, everytime barney walks by this particular tree, acorns rain down with incredible accuracy towards her head. Acorn welts have been present on barney and we don't seem to understand it. The cute little squirrel chitters and squeeaks and talks. Then out of nowhere, a battle cry is heard and the attack is started. barney has tried to walk around the tree a different way, but alas. Little devil squirrel has far aim. barney has even tried talking to the manipulative squirrel. But the squirrel must be crazy, for it will take no offers of surrender whatsoever. barney just has to watch out for the crazy squirrel when on campus.
Now we have heard some talk about students drop kicking the squirrels if they run across their path. Please, UNL, talk to your squirrel representative and have them read this letter, so they are aware of the dangers of scampering across the path of the stressed out and somewhat narcacisstic student. If they are drop kicked, who knows where they will end up. Texas, Kansas, maybe even Washington. And that would be horrible.
Despite the acorn launching problems, we will still love the squirrels. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
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