Dear UNL,
We would just like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, whichever holiday you might celebrate. Enjoy the time with your families and the break from school!!
Until we meet again, stay classy, UNL. We will always love you!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Day 41-Creepy Baby Antenna Topper
Dear UNL,
We found this on a random car in the parking lot. Frankly, we find this CREEPY! WHY IS THERE A BABY ON THEIR ANTENNA?!?!?!?!?! WHYWHYWHY?! We are going to go cry..... and possibly have nightmares. :(
Sincerely,
killa & barney
We found this on a random car in the parking lot. Frankly, we find this CREEPY! WHY IS THERE A BABY ON THEIR ANTENNA?!?!?!?!?! WHYWHYWHY?! We are going to go cry..... and possibly have nightmares. :(
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 40-Burr Hall Decor
Dear UNL,
You really must tell all the other dorms on campus to get a step up on things, this holiday season. The guys in the Burr Hall dorms really have a leg up on the competition.
Driving by the Burr Hall parking lot, if you look up towards the windows, you'll see the christmas tree and christmas lights that the guys have put up. It's very festive and brings a little of the Holiday Spirit to everyone. We sure do like to see the lights up on campus. It's a grand effort the the Burr Hall guys. Well done, Burr Hall. We applaud the guys in your dorm. Keep it up!
Students, staff, and readers alike, take a stroll or drive around campus and look for the Holiday lights. If you see any, send us a pic, we'll be sure to add it! Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and the spirit you bring to the occasion).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
You really must tell all the other dorms on campus to get a step up on things, this holiday season. The guys in the Burr Hall dorms really have a leg up on the competition.
Driving by the Burr Hall parking lot, if you look up towards the windows, you'll see the christmas tree and christmas lights that the guys have put up. It's very festive and brings a little of the Holiday Spirit to everyone. We sure do like to see the lights up on campus. It's a grand effort the the Burr Hall guys. Well done, Burr Hall. We applaud the guys in your dorm. Keep it up!
Students, staff, and readers alike, take a stroll or drive around campus and look for the Holiday lights. If you see any, send us a pic, we'll be sure to add it! Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and the spirit you bring to the occasion).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 39-Schorr Building
Dear UNL,
If you walk around City Campus alot, you might already know about the Schorr Building. If not, let us tell you.
Next to/underneath/connected to/adjacent. Those are many words to describe the location of the Schorr building in relation to Memorial Stadium. Now, we really have no idea what the Schorr building is for. Sure the sign says Computer Science Center and Engineering, but after that.... we have no clue. But if you walk over there at night, you'll see the Husker Red glow emitting from the building. It's really quite beautiful! And nothing says school pride like a building lit up in HUSKER RED. It kind of gives the Schorr building an eerie glow at times, if you look at it just the right way, but other than the occasional shiver that runs down your spine, it's pretty cool.
Take time out of your nightly walk to experience the power of red. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and the Husker red glow).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
If you walk around City Campus alot, you might already know about the Schorr Building. If not, let us tell you.
Next to/underneath/connected to/adjacent. Those are many words to describe the location of the Schorr building in relation to Memorial Stadium. Now, we really have no idea what the Schorr building is for. Sure the sign says Computer Science Center and Engineering, but after that.... we have no clue. But if you walk over there at night, you'll see the Husker Red glow emitting from the building. It's really quite beautiful! And nothing says school pride like a building lit up in HUSKER RED. It kind of gives the Schorr building an eerie glow at times, if you look at it just the right way, but other than the occasional shiver that runs down your spine, it's pretty cool.
Take time out of your nightly walk to experience the power of red. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and the Husker red glow).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Day 38 Love Library
Dear UNL,
Husker Nation, let's reminisce about the main library here on UNL's campus. Love library. The library in question is one of the many surprises.
First of all, in order to find your way around Love Library, one would need a Marauder's Map, courtesy of Harry Potter. There are so many twists, turns, ups, downs, secret passageways and dead ends, I'm surprised we made it out alive. Our sense of direction isn't always fantastic and spending enough time in the small rooms of many books, you might possibly lose all sense of direction. But have no fear, just walk out, keep your right hand on the wall, & you'll find your way out eventually.
Secondly, there are many different books in the Library! Yes, we know you are sitting there saying "DUH! Of course there are alot of books at the LIBRARY! " But bare with us. Spend enough time in the somewhat scary rooms, where the shelving units seem to squeeze closer and closer as you mosey your way further into the recesses of the underbelly of the library, and you'll understand. There are volumes upon volumes of old and current magazine's such as Reader's Digest, Time, and Life. Magazines from as early as the 1860's. It's holding a piece of history! How awesome is that?! We think it's pretty awesome.
Thirdly, we are pretty sure that Moaning Myrtle lives in the women's bathroom in the basement of Love Library. We are not even kidding. We're so for real it's ridiculous. So ridiculous, it's for real. What other explanation is there when you are standing at the sink, no where near the toilets and a toilet at the opposite end of the bathroom flushes, and no one walks out. Obviously Moaning Myrtle. There's no other explanation.
So, students, take an adventure. Maybe even get a little lost and discover a bit of history while you're at it. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and fear getting lost).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Husker Nation, let's reminisce about the main library here on UNL's campus. Love library. The library in question is one of the many surprises.
First of all, in order to find your way around Love Library, one would need a Marauder's Map, courtesy of Harry Potter. There are so many twists, turns, ups, downs, secret passageways and dead ends, I'm surprised we made it out alive. Our sense of direction isn't always fantastic and spending enough time in the small rooms of many books, you might possibly lose all sense of direction. But have no fear, just walk out, keep your right hand on the wall, & you'll find your way out eventually.
Secondly, there are many different books in the Library! Yes, we know you are sitting there saying "DUH! Of course there are alot of books at the LIBRARY! " But bare with us. Spend enough time in the somewhat scary rooms, where the shelving units seem to squeeze closer and closer as you mosey your way further into the recesses of the underbelly of the library, and you'll understand. There are volumes upon volumes of old and current magazine's such as Reader's Digest, Time, and Life. Magazines from as early as the 1860's. It's holding a piece of history! How awesome is that?! We think it's pretty awesome.
Thirdly, we are pretty sure that Moaning Myrtle lives in the women's bathroom in the basement of Love Library. We are not even kidding. We're so for real it's ridiculous. So ridiculous, it's for real. What other explanation is there when you are standing at the sink, no where near the toilets and a toilet at the opposite end of the bathroom flushes, and no one walks out. Obviously Moaning Myrtle. There's no other explanation.
So, students, take an adventure. Maybe even get a little lost and discover a bit of history while you're at it. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and fear getting lost).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Day 37-Stairs that Lead Nowhere
Dear UNL,
We are the stairs that don't lead anywhere,
we just lead you down to a dead end.
If you ask us, why we don't lead anywhere,
We'll just tell you, we don't lead to anywhere.
well I've never led to Greenland
and I've never led to Denver
I've never led to treasure in ST Louie or ST Paul
and I've never led to Moscow
and I've never led to Tampa
and I've never led to Boston in the fall
We are the stairs that don't lead anywhere,
we just lead you down to a dead end.
If you ask us, why we don't lead anywhere,
We'll just tell you, we don't lead to anywhere.
and I've never tripped a student
and I've never swabbed the landing
and I've never veered to the right, because I don’t go anywhere at all
and I've never been a gang plank
and I've never owned a teacher
and I've never led to Boston in the fall
We are the stairs that don't lead anywhere,
we just lead you down to a dead end.
If you ask us, why we don't lead anywhere,
We'll just tell you, we don't lead to anywhere.
I've never plucked a rooster
and I am not too good at ping-pong
and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall
and I've never kissed a Husker,
and I've never gotten head lice
and I have never led to Boston in the fall
We are the stairs that don't lead anywhere,
we just lead you down to a dead end.
If you ask us, why we don't lead anywhere,
We'll just tell you, we don't lead to anywhere.
and I've never licked a football
and I've always sniffed a stinky shoe
and I've never painted Daisies on a big red rubber ball
and I've never bathed in anything
and I don't look good in leggings
and I've never led to Boston in the fall
We are the stairs that don't lead anywhere,
we just lead you down to a dead end.
If you ask us, why we don't lead anywhere,
We'll just tell you, we don't lead to anywhere.
We’d like to take this moment to thank Veggie Tales. Students and professors alike, take time out of your day to sing silly songs with barney and killa.
Stay classy UNL, we will always love you!
Sincerely,
barney and killa
Day 36 - Children Left Unattended
Dear UNL,
PLEASE DO NOT USE CITY CAMPUS AS YOUR CHILDREN BABYSITTING SERVICE. TEACH THEM TO STAY AWAY FROM STRANGER'S CARS! STRANGER DANGER DOES NOT MEAN "OOOO! CANDY! I SHOULD JUMP IN THE CAR AND EAT IT!"
Please parents, please. DO NOT leave your little boy (or any children to be exact....we don't want to discriminate) children unattended around Memorial Stadium.
Stay classy UNL, by not expecting us to babysit your children.
Sincerely,
barney & killa
Day 35-Nike Shocks Guy
Dear UNL,
Here on campus there is this certain person. This person wears HUMUNGO Nike Shock shoes. The reason we are bringing this up is because everywhere we go.... we notice these shoe prints. IN THE EXACT SAME PATH WE ARE TAKING! Now we aren't sure if this is a guy or a girl. But we think it must be a guy since the shoes are so HUGE!
And by huge, we don't just mean belonging to your average football player, or basketball star. No....we are referring to none other than the BIGFOOT of nike shocks at UNL. He gives us great amusement and entertainment. killa gets to watch as barney makes a fool of themselves and attempts to walk in bigfoot's "footprints". However, this only works in the snow...and barney imagines the footprints in the summer sometimes.....we are a bit concerned.
We wish we knew who left these footprints. Sometimes, during class or walking on campus, barney finds themselves looking at anyone who wears Nike Shocks and measuring up to the footprints. But, alas. we have yet to find Bigfoot.
If you ever happen to find this person, please contact us at dearunl.blogspot.com. There will be a reward.
Stay classy UNL, we will always love you!
Sincerely,
barney and killa
Day 34 - Man on Sidewalk
Dear UNL,
As we were wandering into the city campus union one afternoon, we discovered a very special man. His name? Bartholomew. He was last seen on one specific cement block outside the union....and will probably still be there. He is dressed head to toe in black....including his skin. He has no feet, or fingers, and is missing a neck. If you see him, please let us know. We would like to add him to our work team.
Thanks ever so much! Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and look for Bartholomew).
Sincerely,
barney & killa
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Day 33-Architecture Hall
Dear UNL,
There is a building on campus that is unlike any other building on UNL's campus. This particular building is located on City Campus and it's a bit hidden from the every day path of the usual student. The building we are talking about is the Architecture Hall, located to the south west of the Westbrook building. We, for one, had no idea this building was here. It's a special building hidden in the trees.
When first walkig up to it, you will see a pretty red brick building that doesn't look like it quite belongs in the capitol of Nebraska. Maybe somewhere in England or New York. However, once you go in the double doors to the north of the building, you realize that there is more to the building that what you see on the out side. Walking inside, you see levels upon levels or chairs, stair cases, and the elevator. Continue walking inside and you see the other part of the building. Believe it or not, the red part of the Arch Hall building was added onto another building. The College of Law building to be exact. It's a building within a building. It looks pretty awesome if we do say so ourselves.
So, take a look for yourselves, fellow students, and take part in enjoying the structuring and architecture that is present. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and be confused when we first see buildings in buildings).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
There is a building on campus that is unlike any other building on UNL's campus. This particular building is located on City Campus and it's a bit hidden from the every day path of the usual student. The building we are talking about is the Architecture Hall, located to the south west of the Westbrook building. We, for one, had no idea this building was here. It's a special building hidden in the trees.
When first walkig up to it, you will see a pretty red brick building that doesn't look like it quite belongs in the capitol of Nebraska. Maybe somewhere in England or New York. However, once you go in the double doors to the north of the building, you realize that there is more to the building that what you see on the out side. Walking inside, you see levels upon levels or chairs, stair cases, and the elevator. Continue walking inside and you see the other part of the building. Believe it or not, the red part of the Arch Hall building was added onto another building. The College of Law building to be exact. It's a building within a building. It looks pretty awesome if we do say so ourselves.
So, take a look for yourselves, fellow students, and take part in enjoying the structuring and architecture that is present. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and be confused when we first see buildings in buildings).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 32 - Union Creepers?
Dear UNL,
We were very concerned tonight sitting in the union, causally minding our own business eating some banana chocolate chip ice cream from the dairy store. You see, there were 4 hooded figures in all red monk-esque robes walking through the union in a straight line; if we didn't know better, we would have said they were the Dementors themselves....
Not only did they walk creepily in a straight line with their hoods drawn, but they were glaring at any and all passers-by. We just tried to avoid looking at their eyes.............
Stay classy UNL. We will always love you! (But will be mortally terrified of your hooded figures...)
Sincerely,
barney and killa
We were very concerned tonight sitting in the union, causally minding our own business eating some banana chocolate chip ice cream from the dairy store. You see, there were 4 hooded figures in all red monk-esque robes walking through the union in a straight line; if we didn't know better, we would have said they were the Dementors themselves....
Not only did they walk creepily in a straight line with their hoods drawn, but they were glaring at any and all passers-by. We just tried to avoid looking at their eyes.............
Stay classy UNL. We will always love you! (But will be mortally terrified of your hooded figures...)
Sincerely,
barney and killa
Day 31 - Powdered Eggs
Dear UNL,
Although we spent the entire last letter raving about how wonderful your food is, we do have one conundrum which we cannot solve. Powdered eggs?! It is understandable to only serve those at City campus dining halls, sure, there are plenty of vegans who appreciate this, we are sure. However, what about the rest of us meat-and-egg-eating community? Would some REAL eggs even at the East Campus Union hurt anyone?? They produce their own eggs here at UNL, so why not put them to good use in the community of college students?
For those of us who enjoy REAL, not dry & powdery with-questionable-contents eggs, we are desperately seeking your assistance.
Stay Classy UNL. We will always love you, just maybe not your powdered egg substitute.
Sincerely,
barney and killa
Although we spent the entire last letter raving about how wonderful your food is, we do have one conundrum which we cannot solve. Powdered eggs?! It is understandable to only serve those at City campus dining halls, sure, there are plenty of vegans who appreciate this, we are sure. However, what about the rest of us meat-and-egg-eating community? Would some REAL eggs even at the East Campus Union hurt anyone?? They produce their own eggs here at UNL, so why not put them to good use in the community of college students?
For those of us who enjoy REAL, not dry & powdery with-questionable-contents eggs, we are desperately seeking your assistance.
Stay Classy UNL. We will always love you, just maybe not your powdered egg substitute.
Sincerely,
barney and killa
Friday, November 12, 2010
Day 31- That One Water Bottle
Dear UNL,
Thank you for having big, tough, seeming guys who carry around a Phineas and Ferb water bottle. This is the third one we've seen on a guy, but this time it was so much better when he was big and burly. It made our day.
Phineas and Ferb rock! Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and sing the Phineas and Ferb theme song.)
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Thank you for having big, tough, seeming guys who carry around a Phineas and Ferb water bottle. This is the third one we've seen on a guy, but this time it was so much better when he was big and burly. It made our day.
Phineas and Ferb rock! Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and sing the Phineas and Ferb theme song.)
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 30- Selleck Dining Hall
Dear UNL,
Today was the start of a brand new adventure. It took in part of going out of our comfort zones and blasting in, guns ablazing. Ok, well maybe not guns ablazing. More like walking inside the doors of Selleck slowly, wondering if anyone was going to stop us. See, we've never been to the Selleck Dining Hall before, and it was something we were willing to try. Granted, that was in part of barney's incessant need of food..... Yes. That was part of the blame.
However, the adventure in and of itself, is definitely worth the recount. We are sure you will all enjoy the misfortunes that befell some in the dining hall. First of all, when walking into the Selleck Dining Hall, make sure the lady who is taking your money is, in fact, paying attention to you paying (that is, if you're paying with cash) for your meal. Other wise, she'll give you the incorrect change and vast amounts of confusion ensues. She'll catch you as you are walking away, talking to your friends and not even looking at the change she gave you, prefering instead, to trust those employed by the great state of Nebraska and it's secondary schooling. Fellow students, don't trust those employed. Not that we are saying that they are keeping your change on purpose, but sometimes when people start talking while they are supposed to be working, some things are pushed to the side and only partially accounted for. Once she catches you, she'll ask you what change she gave you. This tactic we believe is partially pushed by the Mathematics department. They are requiring you to think on your feet and be able to do math with the snap of your fingers. If you are like barney, this will come with some difficulty, leaning towards sticking your hand out to the "lunch lady" for her to count, as you know it will go faster if she does it instead of you. If you are like killa, the math will be easy cheesy and you'll have counted your change, remembered what you paid with, have subtracted it from the cost of your meal and demanded your correct change. (Actually, if you're like killa, you will have used a meal plan like most students on campus). Once the confusion is fixed and you have the correct change and the lunch lady is subdued, you are free to find a seat in the vast array of tables and chairs that is the Selleck Hall Dining Area. Good luck. May the force be with you.
Once you've found a spot to pop a squat and you've set all your belongings down, it's time to experience the amazingness of food. Imagine with us. You are walking past the tables, past the lunch lady with minute mathematical problems and to the lines of food. Look to your left and you see the beverage line, the silverware, and the ice cream. Slowly move your head towards the middle and you see the salad bar, ethinic food, and good old pizza! Move to the right and you see turkey burgers, french fries, rows upon rows of cereal, and yet another salad bar. Could this be any more perfect?! Go for it. We dare you. Pick up a plate and eat your way into oblivion. All you can eat for the low price of $7.25. Sounds perfect for the college student.
One of the nice things about the Dining Hall in Selleck, is that it is the prime spot for people watching. People don't think when they eat, so anytime it's customary for people to eat, you get to see their true sides. Take, for instance, the one guy we noticed sitting by himself, watching/reading something on his computer screen. He was also attempting, yes attempting, to eat noodles at the same time. He had his headphones in and was totally engrossed in whatever was on the screen. Now as he is getting ready to take another bite, something happens on the screen and his attention is thus diverted and his attempt to shovel the noodles into his mouth is thwarted. His noodles slip, unnoticed, off his fork onto the table top, almost onto his lap. We were not aware that it was customary to eat your noodles off the table.
Other things we've noticed are as follows:
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Today was the start of a brand new adventure. It took in part of going out of our comfort zones and blasting in, guns ablazing. Ok, well maybe not guns ablazing. More like walking inside the doors of Selleck slowly, wondering if anyone was going to stop us. See, we've never been to the Selleck Dining Hall before, and it was something we were willing to try. Granted, that was in part of barney's incessant need of food..... Yes. That was part of the blame.
However, the adventure in and of itself, is definitely worth the recount. We are sure you will all enjoy the misfortunes that befell some in the dining hall. First of all, when walking into the Selleck Dining Hall, make sure the lady who is taking your money is, in fact, paying attention to you paying (that is, if you're paying with cash) for your meal. Other wise, she'll give you the incorrect change and vast amounts of confusion ensues. She'll catch you as you are walking away, talking to your friends and not even looking at the change she gave you, prefering instead, to trust those employed by the great state of Nebraska and it's secondary schooling. Fellow students, don't trust those employed. Not that we are saying that they are keeping your change on purpose, but sometimes when people start talking while they are supposed to be working, some things are pushed to the side and only partially accounted for. Once she catches you, she'll ask you what change she gave you. This tactic we believe is partially pushed by the Mathematics department. They are requiring you to think on your feet and be able to do math with the snap of your fingers. If you are like barney, this will come with some difficulty, leaning towards sticking your hand out to the "lunch lady" for her to count, as you know it will go faster if she does it instead of you. If you are like killa, the math will be easy cheesy and you'll have counted your change, remembered what you paid with, have subtracted it from the cost of your meal and demanded your correct change. (Actually, if you're like killa, you will have used a meal plan like most students on campus). Once the confusion is fixed and you have the correct change and the lunch lady is subdued, you are free to find a seat in the vast array of tables and chairs that is the Selleck Hall Dining Area. Good luck. May the force be with you.
Once you've found a spot to pop a squat and you've set all your belongings down, it's time to experience the amazingness of food. Imagine with us. You are walking past the tables, past the lunch lady with minute mathematical problems and to the lines of food. Look to your left and you see the beverage line, the silverware, and the ice cream. Slowly move your head towards the middle and you see the salad bar, ethinic food, and good old pizza! Move to the right and you see turkey burgers, french fries, rows upon rows of cereal, and yet another salad bar. Could this be any more perfect?! Go for it. We dare you. Pick up a plate and eat your way into oblivion. All you can eat for the low price of $7.25. Sounds perfect for the college student.
One of the nice things about the Dining Hall in Selleck, is that it is the prime spot for people watching. People don't think when they eat, so anytime it's customary for people to eat, you get to see their true sides. Take, for instance, the one guy we noticed sitting by himself, watching/reading something on his computer screen. He was also attempting, yes attempting, to eat noodles at the same time. He had his headphones in and was totally engrossed in whatever was on the screen. Now as he is getting ready to take another bite, something happens on the screen and his attention is thus diverted and his attempt to shovel the noodles into his mouth is thwarted. His noodles slip, unnoticed, off his fork onto the table top, almost onto his lap. We were not aware that it was customary to eat your noodles off the table.
Other things we've noticed are as follows:
- If you are a college aged male, you are required to shove 7 pieces of pizza into your mouth at one time.
- Spoons and forks are just a suggestion. Just because they are there and available, doesn't mean you have to use them.
- The strawberries and cream are very popular choices at the Selleck Dining Hall.
- Napkins are also, only a suggestion.
- Talking with your mouth full and extremely open is, surprisingly, polite here in the world of college students. (unfortuntately)
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Day 29- UNL Cornhusker Marching Band
Dear UNL,
We would like to thank you. Early in the morning, when walking to the campus Rec, or to class, or maybe for some of you fellow readers and students, to the library, we are able to enjoy the wonderous sounds of the UNL Marching Band. If you happen to be walking past Memorial Stadium, you might (as we have) stop for a moment or two to watch the band practice.
We know for us, walking past during the practice takes us back to the good old days. We reminisce of the days in our very own high school marching bands. The shout of commands from the band director and the incessant, mind numbing, soul hitting beat of the metronome. Yes. It takes us back.
We've even found ourselves (unknowingly, of course) stepping in time to the music we hear, not so much trickling more like blaring, out of the stadium. Imagine our surprise when we even notice that we are in step!! Marching band has been ingrained in our minds so much that 3 or 4 years later, we are still, shall we say, brainwashed.
It was almost as if we weren't in control of our bodies! But don't get us wrong. We thoroughly enjoy the small trips down memory lane. It's ok to get stuck in the past. However, if anyone ever wants to take over the world, might we suggest an extra loud, extra annoying metronome and a hard as heck band director to call out commands. We promise all current and past marching band kids will find themselves snapping to attention and marching in lockstep. A full response shouting, command following, crowd of drones. It will be entertaining, we promise you that.
UNL Cornhusker Marching Band, keep at it, you sound great. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and march in lockstep to society's expectations).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
We would like to thank you. Early in the morning, when walking to the campus Rec, or to class, or maybe for some of you fellow readers and students, to the library, we are able to enjoy the wonderous sounds of the UNL Marching Band. If you happen to be walking past Memorial Stadium, you might (as we have) stop for a moment or two to watch the band practice.
We know for us, walking past during the practice takes us back to the good old days. We reminisce of the days in our very own high school marching bands. The shout of commands from the band director and the incessant, mind numbing, soul hitting beat of the metronome. Yes. It takes us back.
We've even found ourselves (unknowingly, of course) stepping in time to the music we hear, not so much trickling more like blaring, out of the stadium. Imagine our surprise when we even notice that we are in step!! Marching band has been ingrained in our minds so much that 3 or 4 years later, we are still, shall we say, brainwashed.
It was almost as if we weren't in control of our bodies! But don't get us wrong. We thoroughly enjoy the small trips down memory lane. It's ok to get stuck in the past. However, if anyone ever wants to take over the world, might we suggest an extra loud, extra annoying metronome and a hard as heck band director to call out commands. We promise all current and past marching band kids will find themselves snapping to attention and marching in lockstep. A full response shouting, command following, crowd of drones. It will be entertaining, we promise you that.
UNL Cornhusker Marching Band, keep at it, you sound great. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and march in lockstep to society's expectations).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 28- Creeper at UNL Rec Center C/O UNL
Dear Creeper,
Please do not stare openly at us while we work on the total body circuit. It's quite unnerving and very, very creepy. Just because we are in your direct line of vision, doesn't mean we want to be the object of your interest. There are TV's by you. WATCH THEM! Contrary to popular belief, we do not come to the Rec Center to be gawked at, stared at, leered at, or even laughed at (though, we didn't see you doing that....at least openly). Are we at the ZOO?! No, so if you're going to look, look quick and look away. We caught you and then it got awkward.
K thanksbye! Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and watch out for creepers at the Rec).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Please do not stare openly at us while we work on the total body circuit. It's quite unnerving and very, very creepy. Just because we are in your direct line of vision, doesn't mean we want to be the object of your interest. There are TV's by you. WATCH THEM! Contrary to popular belief, we do not come to the Rec Center to be gawked at, stared at, leered at, or even laughed at (though, we didn't see you doing that....at least openly). Are we at the ZOO?! No, so if you're going to look, look quick and look away. We caught you and then it got awkward.
K thanksbye! Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and watch out for creepers at the Rec).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Friday, November 5, 2010
Day 27- The Fountain
Dear UNL,
We should all take time to stop by the fountain outside of the City Union and take a moment to dip our feet in while it is still somewhat nice outside. Soon, the water will be drained and we will all have to wait until next May, to experience the feeling of the cool water. So, students of UNL, if you're passing by the fountain, take a load off. Dip your feet into the magical waters and see if you are the recipient of magical powers!
Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you.
Sincerely,
killa & barney
We should all take time to stop by the fountain outside of the City Union and take a moment to dip our feet in while it is still somewhat nice outside. Soon, the water will be drained and we will all have to wait until next May, to experience the feeling of the cool water. So, students of UNL, if you're passing by the fountain, take a load off. Dip your feet into the magical waters and see if you are the recipient of magical powers!
Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you.
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Day 26- Awkward Momets On Campus; Part 1
Dear UNL,
This particular letter could actually be a written novel. But we feel we must share with you. There are so many awkward moments on campus, we wish we could videotape them all for you, and post them on youtube so everyone could join in on the entertainment. But that wouldn't be very nice of us, and for the most part, we enjoy being nice. Now keep in mind, that we can't see ALL the awkward moments on campus, so we're just going to write about the ones we do see. (DUH). But if you feel that we missed one, by all means, let us know!
One of these said moments, happened when killa was driving through campus and she witnessed a man skipping through the grass carrying a butterfly net. But just wait, it gets awkwarder..... More awkward. He was also singing! Now who on our great planet Earth, does that?! Was he trying to catch butterflies? If so, what was he planning on doing with them? And why the heck, in the name of all things Husker, was he singing???? That is the part that stumps us the most. Is there some "Skipping-while-catching-butterflies-in-the-grass" musical that we don't know about? If anyone could tell us what's going on, that would be much appreciated.
Secondly, a couple of days ago, while barney was walking on campus, they noticed a person sitting off to the side of the sidewalk/path. Now barney didn't think much of it until she got closer. Said person was sitting crosslegged, in a skirt, eating cheese and talking to the tree. Yes, you read right. Talking to the tree. barney was a bit confused, so she slowed her gait down a bit in hopes of catching part of the.....conversation. Now wait ladies and gentlemen, this is going to get good. The first thing barney heard was the woman say, "So, great oak, why are you so tall?". Now, being completely honest here. barney, being the curious college student that she is, listened to hear what the great oak would respond, before realizing what she was doing and paying more attention to the woman. After a few seconds, the woman asked another question. "Great oak, would you like some cheese? I'll share with you and you can eat it while you share your tale of greatness and how annoying squirrels can be.". As much as barney wanted to learn the tale of the oak's greatness, she was going to be late for class, so she hurried over to her building. We shake our heads at this. Sure people can talk to inatimate objects. Heck, we do it all the time. But to have an actual conversation and to OFFER them CHEESE? That's completely out of our league. UNL, we wonder. We really, really wonder.
Now of course there are more awkward moments to write of, but no one likes to read loooong letters, so we'll spare you and come back with some more. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and look forward to awkward moments we can cherish).
Sincerely
killa & barney
This particular letter could actually be a written novel. But we feel we must share with you. There are so many awkward moments on campus, we wish we could videotape them all for you, and post them on youtube so everyone could join in on the entertainment. But that wouldn't be very nice of us, and for the most part, we enjoy being nice. Now keep in mind, that we can't see ALL the awkward moments on campus, so we're just going to write about the ones we do see. (DUH). But if you feel that we missed one, by all means, let us know!
One of these said moments, happened when killa was driving through campus and she witnessed a man skipping through the grass carrying a butterfly net. But just wait, it gets awkwarder..... More awkward. He was also singing! Now who on our great planet Earth, does that?! Was he trying to catch butterflies? If so, what was he planning on doing with them? And why the heck, in the name of all things Husker, was he singing???? That is the part that stumps us the most. Is there some "Skipping-while-catching-butterflies-in-the-grass" musical that we don't know about? If anyone could tell us what's going on, that would be much appreciated.
Secondly, a couple of days ago, while barney was walking on campus, they noticed a person sitting off to the side of the sidewalk/path. Now barney didn't think much of it until she got closer. Said person was sitting crosslegged, in a skirt, eating cheese and talking to the tree. Yes, you read right. Talking to the tree. barney was a bit confused, so she slowed her gait down a bit in hopes of catching part of the.....conversation. Now wait ladies and gentlemen, this is going to get good. The first thing barney heard was the woman say, "So, great oak, why are you so tall?". Now, being completely honest here. barney, being the curious college student that she is, listened to hear what the great oak would respond, before realizing what she was doing and paying more attention to the woman. After a few seconds, the woman asked another question. "Great oak, would you like some cheese? I'll share with you and you can eat it while you share your tale of greatness and how annoying squirrels can be.". As much as barney wanted to learn the tale of the oak's greatness, she was going to be late for class, so she hurried over to her building. We shake our heads at this. Sure people can talk to inatimate objects. Heck, we do it all the time. But to have an actual conversation and to OFFER them CHEESE? That's completely out of our league. UNL, we wonder. We really, really wonder.
Now of course there are more awkward moments to write of, but no one likes to read loooong letters, so we'll spare you and come back with some more. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and look forward to awkward moments we can cherish).
Sincerely
killa & barney
Day 25- Gallant Elite
Dear UNL,
We've noticed, UNL. Don't think we haven't noticed. "What in the world are you talking about?" You're saying in your head right now(or so we think). We will ease your confusion, hang tight.
Gallantry: 1. Nobility of spirit or action; courage. 2. Chivalrous attention toward women; coutliness.
When we say that what is your first response? Maybe it would be medieval knights fighting firey dragons to save a Damsel in distress. Or maybe its a prince on a beautiful white steed with a jousting stick. Or quite possibly, its Sir Gallahad or Sir Lionel (no, not Richie), both of which were knights as well.
Keeping that in mind, we'd like to tell you of some thing we've found. Hidden here on UNL's campus, we've found gallant knights clad in red, with white helmets. These red and white knights we speak of? None other than our own University of Nebraska Cornhusker Football team. Now, hang on there. We haven't seen the ENTIRE team acting in these ways, just a select few. But the number is growing steadily, everyday.
First on our list of the Gallant Elite is Husker Defensive Tackle, Jared Crick. Up until this moment in time(approximately a week and a half ago) we had never seen such manners on campus. Someone we knew relayed this story to us and we believe we had to share it. She was walking into the Westbrook building and he gallantly held the door open for her. How nice was that?
Not even a week later, Nebraska Linebacker, Alonzo Whaley, joined the ranks of the Gallant Elite. killa was on her way to class and found herself stunped by the large, heavy, immobile door. Have no fear, killa! Alonzo Whaley is here! He got right on it, defeating the evil, heavy door and opened it for the Damsel in distress, our very own killa. If it hadn't been for him, killa would still be stuck in the building! Thank you, Alonzo Whaley!
Now, the headlines should read: "The Gallant Elite Strikes Again!". However, sadly they don't. Either way, just today, it was witnessed that our Nebraska Cornernback, Prince Amukamara(who was/is frankly the founder of the Gallant Elite) was crowned king of the hour. He was seen on campus, holding the door for not one! Not Two! But four ladies walking outside. What a gentleman! If only we could find more like him on campus.
Gentlemen of UNL, read closely and take notes. The Gallant Elite have set a high standard for you. Ladies of UNL, please say "Thank you!" When a guy holds the door open for you. He doesn't have to. He's just being polite. We need more polite people on campus.
Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what UNL can be. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and keep our eye out for the Gallant Elite).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
We've noticed, UNL. Don't think we haven't noticed. "What in the world are you talking about?" You're saying in your head right now(or so we think). We will ease your confusion, hang tight.
Gallantry: 1. Nobility of spirit or action; courage. 2. Chivalrous attention toward women; coutliness.
When we say that what is your first response? Maybe it would be medieval knights fighting firey dragons to save a Damsel in distress. Or maybe its a prince on a beautiful white steed with a jousting stick. Or quite possibly, its Sir Gallahad or Sir Lionel (no, not Richie), both of which were knights as well.
Keeping that in mind, we'd like to tell you of some thing we've found. Hidden here on UNL's campus, we've found gallant knights clad in red, with white helmets. These red and white knights we speak of? None other than our own University of Nebraska Cornhusker Football team. Now, hang on there. We haven't seen the ENTIRE team acting in these ways, just a select few. But the number is growing steadily, everyday.
First on our list of the Gallant Elite is Husker Defensive Tackle, Jared Crick. Up until this moment in time(approximately a week and a half ago) we had never seen such manners on campus. Someone we knew relayed this story to us and we believe we had to share it. She was walking into the Westbrook building and he gallantly held the door open for her. How nice was that?
Not even a week later, Nebraska Linebacker, Alonzo Whaley, joined the ranks of the Gallant Elite. killa was on her way to class and found herself stunped by the large, heavy, immobile door. Have no fear, killa! Alonzo Whaley is here! He got right on it, defeating the evil, heavy door and opened it for the Damsel in distress, our very own killa. If it hadn't been for him, killa would still be stuck in the building! Thank you, Alonzo Whaley!
Now, the headlines should read: "The Gallant Elite Strikes Again!". However, sadly they don't. Either way, just today, it was witnessed that our Nebraska Cornernback, Prince Amukamara(who was/is frankly the founder of the Gallant Elite) was crowned king of the hour. He was seen on campus, holding the door for not one! Not Two! But four ladies walking outside. What a gentleman! If only we could find more like him on campus.
Gentlemen of UNL, read closely and take notes. The Gallant Elite have set a high standard for you. Ladies of UNL, please say "Thank you!" When a guy holds the door open for you. He doesn't have to. He's just being polite. We need more polite people on campus.
Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what UNL can be. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you(and keep our eye out for the Gallant Elite).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 24- Tornado Siren Drills
Dear UNL,
We know that it is for our own safety and well-being that you test the tornado sirens out. However, please don't test them on a beautiful day like today. Test them when it's super windy or reaaaaly hot or all around gloomy. We mean, obviously not on days where it could trick some people into heartattacks because they might think there's a tornado. Most of us, Nebraskans, no what's what. But we have quite a few people here from different countries and we wouldn't want to confuse them. The sirens are an invader of the peace for those of us trying to enjoy the beeeaauutiful weather.
We thank you for keeping us safe. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you ( and be eternally grateful for your practices to keep us out of harm's way).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
We know that it is for our own safety and well-being that you test the tornado sirens out. However, please don't test them on a beautiful day like today. Test them when it's super windy or reaaaaly hot or all around gloomy. We mean, obviously not on days where it could trick some people into heartattacks because they might think there's a tornado. Most of us, Nebraskans, no what's what. But we have quite a few people here from different countries and we wouldn't want to confuse them. The sirens are an invader of the peace for those of us trying to enjoy the beeeaauutiful weather.
We thank you for keeping us safe. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you ( and be eternally grateful for your practices to keep us out of harm's way).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Monday, November 1, 2010
Day 23 - Campus Celebrities: Part Deux
Dear UNL,
This is not so much a letter to ya'll, but a shout-out to some of our favorite campus celebrities. (Granted, everyone can still read it, and enjoy some of the triumphs (and failures...) of the campus elite)
1. The first shout out goes to Alonzo Whaley. Thank you for being the FIRST courteous football star we have encountered on campus. Killa was very appreciative of how you held the door for her walking into class, even though she was at least 30 feet away. It was a very polite gesture, and we are proud of you!! Thanks Alonzo! You are our new favorite player, just because you are so polite!
2. And now...to pick on him yet again....Niles Paul. Please Niles, DO NOT...I repeat DO NOT follow Dejon Gomes when he jaywalks. Ok?!?!? Especially while texting, man...PLEASE! As funny as it was to watch you scream like a little girl as you almost got hit by a truck; the Huskers need you, so please don't do it again! You know how you run so fast on the field? Please use that skill when avoiding traffic next time.
3. Adi Kunalic, Dejon Gomes, Niles Paul, and your friends...
We know you guys are celebrities. (and we love seeing you guys around campus) Duh. But please do not act like the "plastics" from Mean Girls (we mean this in the nicest possible sense); walking side by side down the sidewalk, blocking anyone from passing you. And if you insist on doing this...please walk at a faster pace than that of a turtle. We have seen you on the football field, we know you can move fast. Some of us are not going to the NFL, and actually need to get to class to make something of ourselves in the future.
Stay classy UNL! We will always love you (and the entertainment/occasional courtesy your football players bring)
Sincerely,
barney and killa
This is not so much a letter to ya'll, but a shout-out to some of our favorite campus celebrities. (Granted, everyone can still read it, and enjoy some of the triumphs (and failures...) of the campus elite)
1. The first shout out goes to Alonzo Whaley. Thank you for being the FIRST courteous football star we have encountered on campus. Killa was very appreciative of how you held the door for her walking into class, even though she was at least 30 feet away. It was a very polite gesture, and we are proud of you!! Thanks Alonzo! You are our new favorite player, just because you are so polite!
2. And now...to pick on him yet again....Niles Paul. Please Niles, DO NOT...I repeat DO NOT follow Dejon Gomes when he jaywalks. Ok?!?!? Especially while texting, man...PLEASE! As funny as it was to watch you scream like a little girl as you almost got hit by a truck; the Huskers need you, so please don't do it again! You know how you run so fast on the field? Please use that skill when avoiding traffic next time.
3. Adi Kunalic, Dejon Gomes, Niles Paul, and your friends...
We know you guys are celebrities. (and we love seeing you guys around campus) Duh. But please do not act like the "plastics" from Mean Girls (we mean this in the nicest possible sense); walking side by side down the sidewalk, blocking anyone from passing you. And if you insist on doing this...please walk at a faster pace than that of a turtle. We have seen you on the football field, we know you can move fast. Some of us are not going to the NFL, and actually need to get to class to make something of ourselves in the future.
Stay classy UNL! We will always love you (and the entertainment/occasional courtesy your football players bring)
Sincerely,
barney and killa
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Day 22- Nebraska Vs. Missouri Game
Dear UNL,
What a game this was! We can say the student section has greatly improved since our last letter. So many things to talk about with this game. Good things, bad things, and some overall HuskerNation ness things.
First of all, the student section was loads and loads better and more respectful that at the last home game. Yes, of course there was your usual potty mouthed, "nothing is ever fair" fan who thinks every call from a ref is fixed. But besides that, the student fans were hyper, ecstatic, and great fans of football. We were proud to sit in the student section this time. Well done.
Secondly, the Huskers started off the first quarter with a BANG! Which was completely and utterly fantastic! Just minutes into the game, 2:44 PM to be exact, Roy Helu Jr (who we'll get to in a moment) ran a 66-yd touchdown for Nebraska!!!! The student section, to say the least, went bezonkers! And the game just kept getting better from there! We had alot of really great tackles from the Nebraska Blackshirts (and yes, we had some misses as well) and DeJon Gomes really played his part this game.
One of the things we noticed, YET AGAIN, was the opposing team, in this case Mizzou, throwing the bones. WHAT THE HECK?! Why does every team we play, think they can throw the bones? That's ours and ours alone. It's kind of aggrivating. Also, many of Mizzou's players had little bouts of anger, and their anger management doesn't work very well. Roughing our players infront of the refs? Missouri, there is no reason for you to shove and hit our players on the field. Period.
Yet, some of the good things we saw on the field are as follows. Missouri Sports Medicine trainers running out onto the field to help Huskers Defensive Back Ciante Evans when he was taken down in the endzone. Moments like those show it's not all about winning the game, it's about having a good time and making sure people are ok. Also, out of nowhere, COURTNEY OSBOURNE TACKLES MIZZOU QUARTER BACK!!!!!! That was awesome!!! The fans, including us, went willlld! And maybe Mizzou isn't such a bad team. Player #85 of the Tigers leaned down to give Roy Helu Jr. a hand up after he took him down. Good sportsmanship, Tigers!
Some of the crazy stuff that happened at this game are as follows. "The Cornhuskers played without quarterback Taylor Martinez in the second half after he came up hobbling following a hit from Kenji Jackson on a run late in the second quarter. Zac Lee took over to start the third quarter."- Huskersillustrated.com. Luckily for most of the Nebraska Husker fans ( we like all of our players), Martinez is expected to be ok for next week's game. Also, "Helu was sensational carrying the offensive load whether Martinez was in or out of the game. He totaled 228 yards after his first 10 carries on his way to breaking the Nebraska record of 294 yards set by Calvin Jones against Kansas in 1991."-Huskersillustrated.com. Nebraska Cornhuskers Running Back, #10, Roy Helu Jr. was amazing this game. It was heard several times around the student section that he was this games "MVP". We just have to agree with that. Did we mention, HE BEAT that record by Calvin Jones!!!! A whopping 307 yards in a SINGLE GAME!! The plays he made were fantastic. The team was doing a great job playing as a team and Helu was able to make some runs and take some hits that ended up giving us the game!
All in all, it was a great game. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and players like Roy Helu Jr.).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
What a game this was! We can say the student section has greatly improved since our last letter. So many things to talk about with this game. Good things, bad things, and some overall HuskerNation ness things.
First of all, the student section was loads and loads better and more respectful that at the last home game. Yes, of course there was your usual potty mouthed, "nothing is ever fair" fan who thinks every call from a ref is fixed. But besides that, the student fans were hyper, ecstatic, and great fans of football. We were proud to sit in the student section this time. Well done.
Secondly, the Huskers started off the first quarter with a BANG! Which was completely and utterly fantastic! Just minutes into the game, 2:44 PM to be exact, Roy Helu Jr (who we'll get to in a moment) ran a 66-yd touchdown for Nebraska!!!! The student section, to say the least, went bezonkers! And the game just kept getting better from there! We had alot of really great tackles from the Nebraska Blackshirts (and yes, we had some misses as well) and DeJon Gomes really played his part this game.
One of the things we noticed, YET AGAIN, was the opposing team, in this case Mizzou, throwing the bones. WHAT THE HECK?! Why does every team we play, think they can throw the bones? That's ours and ours alone. It's kind of aggrivating. Also, many of Mizzou's players had little bouts of anger, and their anger management doesn't work very well. Roughing our players infront of the refs? Missouri, there is no reason for you to shove and hit our players on the field. Period.
Yet, some of the good things we saw on the field are as follows. Missouri Sports Medicine trainers running out onto the field to help Huskers Defensive Back Ciante Evans when he was taken down in the endzone. Moments like those show it's not all about winning the game, it's about having a good time and making sure people are ok. Also, out of nowhere, COURTNEY OSBOURNE TACKLES MIZZOU QUARTER BACK!!!!!! That was awesome!!! The fans, including us, went willlld! And maybe Mizzou isn't such a bad team. Player #85 of the Tigers leaned down to give Roy Helu Jr. a hand up after he took him down. Good sportsmanship, Tigers!
Some of the crazy stuff that happened at this game are as follows. "The Cornhuskers played without quarterback Taylor Martinez in the second half after he came up hobbling following a hit from Kenji Jackson on a run late in the second quarter. Zac Lee took over to start the third quarter."- Huskersillustrated.com. Luckily for most of the Nebraska Husker fans ( we like all of our players), Martinez is expected to be ok for next week's game. Also, "Helu was sensational carrying the offensive load whether Martinez was in or out of the game. He totaled 228 yards after his first 10 carries on his way to breaking the Nebraska record of 294 yards set by Calvin Jones against Kansas in 1991."-Huskersillustrated.com. Nebraska Cornhuskers Running Back, #10, Roy Helu Jr. was amazing this game. It was heard several times around the student section that he was this games "MVP". We just have to agree with that. Did we mention, HE BEAT that record by Calvin Jones!!!! A whopping 307 yards in a SINGLE GAME!! The plays he made were fantastic. The team was doing a great job playing as a team and Helu was able to make some runs and take some hits that ended up giving us the game!
All in all, it was a great game. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and players like Roy Helu Jr.).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Day 21- New Parking Meters
Dear UNL,
Why do you insist on throwing ugly, nasty surprises on us at unsuspecting moments? For instance, in the Animal Science parking lot, there are approximately 20 parking spots that are coveted by students, up along the curb. About 14 of those spots are monitored by a meter. The other 6 are prime spots to park and we love them. Imagine our surprise when we pull up to park in our usual spots and they are the new homes for brand, spankin' new meters or darkness.
Why must you take away some of the only free joy we have here on campus? We really enjoy pulling into the parking lot and seeing one spot left of the prime 6. Cackling in joy and mischief as we pull into that spot, reveling in the knowledge that we got the spot and no other college student will have the joy of comfort and ease of parking for the time being. It gives us a way to feel evil and mos foul in a non-evil and foul way. Don't tell us that you don't secretly rejoice when the best parking spots are open and you are able to take them. Now we can't do that unless we feel like plugging the meter (which is technically illegal and the parking enforcement will come get you... read our other letter....), which we don't feel like doing.
Although, one thing we do like about these new parking meters, is the new time limit. These used to be only 2 hour limit meters. These nifty, red little stickers have replaced the old, blue ones with the words "4 Hour Limit". That in itself, is a Godsend. The 2 hour time limits were horrible if you had to park and the meters were the only spots left that were still on campus. Now, at least we have ease of mind, knowing that our 2 and a half hour lab won't get us a ticket.
Frankly, we would like it if you would just abolish all meters on East Campus, but, alas, we know it's not likely. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and cry over our taken spots).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Why do you insist on throwing ugly, nasty surprises on us at unsuspecting moments? For instance, in the Animal Science parking lot, there are approximately 20 parking spots that are coveted by students, up along the curb. About 14 of those spots are monitored by a meter. The other 6 are prime spots to park and we love them. Imagine our surprise when we pull up to park in our usual spots and they are the new homes for brand, spankin' new meters or darkness.
Why must you take away some of the only free joy we have here on campus? We really enjoy pulling into the parking lot and seeing one spot left of the prime 6. Cackling in joy and mischief as we pull into that spot, reveling in the knowledge that we got the spot and no other college student will have the joy of comfort and ease of parking for the time being. It gives us a way to feel evil and mos foul in a non-evil and foul way. Don't tell us that you don't secretly rejoice when the best parking spots are open and you are able to take them. Now we can't do that unless we feel like plugging the meter (which is technically illegal and the parking enforcement will come get you... read our other letter....), which we don't feel like doing.
Although, one thing we do like about these new parking meters, is the new time limit. These used to be only 2 hour limit meters. These nifty, red little stickers have replaced the old, blue ones with the words "4 Hour Limit". That in itself, is a Godsend. The 2 hour time limits were horrible if you had to park and the meters were the only spots left that were still on campus. Now, at least we have ease of mind, knowing that our 2 and a half hour lab won't get us a ticket.
Frankly, we would like it if you would just abolish all meters on East Campus, but, alas, we know it's not likely. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and cry over our taken spots).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 20 - The Red/White Blur
Dear UNL,
Beware! The celebrity known as the Red/White blur can be seen SPRINTING through the commuter parking lot near Memorial Stadium. No, it is not Clark Kent, the Red/Blue Blur....it is none other than the Husker-Adidas clad Niles Paul. We have no idea the reason for his urgency through the parking lot, but we are sure it was very, very important. Like saving a life, or catching a stray football flying from Memorial Stadium.
Stay classy UNL, and...just be careful walking through the parking lots.
Sincerely,
barney & killa
Beware! The celebrity known as the Red/White blur can be seen SPRINTING through the commuter parking lot near Memorial Stadium. No, it is not Clark Kent, the Red/Blue Blur....it is none other than the Husker-Adidas clad Niles Paul. We have no idea the reason for his urgency through the parking lot, but we are sure it was very, very important. Like saving a life, or catching a stray football flying from Memorial Stadium.
Stay classy UNL, and...just be careful walking through the parking lots.
Sincerely,
barney & killa
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Day 19-Mexican Chocolate
UNL estimado,
Nosotros hemos experimentado algo interesante. Un par de días hace, fuimos a la tienda de productos lácteos en el campus de este. Ahora, antes de que lleguemos realmente a lo que íbamos a escribir nuestra carta sobre, simplemente digamos esto. Nunca sabíamos que el almacén de productos lácteos tenía un Happy Hour!!!! Buena trata de 2: 30-3: 30. Y que sabía de la tienda de productos lácteos más que acaba de helados?! Es una locura. De todos modos, fuimos a la tienda de productos lácteos, y afortunadamente lo suficientemente para nosotros, llegamos allí justo a tiempo para Happy Hour. Tuvimos suerte de obtener Buy One, Get One Half Off. Por lo tanto killa decide ser aburrido y sólo obtener Banana Chocolate Chip. Pero barney decide jugar un poco diferente. El helado opta es, chocolate mexicano. ¿Qué es mexicana chocolate, pedís? "Es un más oscuro, más rico helado de chocolate con especias, mezclados. En su mayoría canela y un poco de pimienta de Cayena. " Dice al empleado detrás de la inmersión en gabinete. Pimienta de Cayena asiste Es la tienda de productos lácteos flippin' LOCO?!?!?! ¿Quién quiere algo picante en su helado? Bueno, ni que decir tiene la pimienta de Cayena es apenas perceptible y el helado no es caliente en absoluto. No hay necesidad para que se ejecute a la fuente de potable para apagar la boca de burnig. El helado estaba delicioso y a pesar de que la tienda de productos lácteos pueden plantear algunos sabores de freaky deaky, resultan bastante oleaje. Ir a probar algo nuevo. Elija un sabor que nunca ha tenido, o ir a cierta regularidad. Estancia elegante, UNL. Siempre amamos su helado y usted!
Atentamente,
Killa & barney
Monday, October 18, 2010
Day 18- Nebraskan Layers Part 2
Dear UNL,
We've come to a conclusion. First of all, we are guilty of the 17 layers, ourselves. Secondly, the weather lately is the reason we comply to such craziness! We have learned that UNL students wear 17 layers because when they wake up, its 40 degrees! We move on in the day and (the same day, might we add) it's 85 degrees! Unless you feel like changing your entire outfit 13 times a day, this is the only reasonable solution.
Sincerely,
barney & killa
We've come to a conclusion. First of all, we are guilty of the 17 layers, ourselves. Secondly, the weather lately is the reason we comply to such craziness! We have learned that UNL students wear 17 layers because when they wake up, its 40 degrees! We move on in the day and (the same day, might we add) it's 85 degrees! Unless you feel like changing your entire outfit 13 times a day, this is the only reasonable solution.
Sincerely,
barney & killa
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Day 17- Nebraska vs. Texas Game
Dear UNL,
We are very disappointed in you, today. Now before you say everyone in the state of Nebraska is sad and upset, let us explain why. Yes, we know we lost the game today, but what went on at the game is what we would like to ...talk about.
First of all, the student section at the football games are uber packed, just in case you didn't know. Let's sure hope that whoever is sitting in those particular sections are not claustrophobic. Everyone attending as a student will have to be ok with their "personal bubble" being somewhat poked and prodded. We are all one big happy family for the 4 hours of the game.
Secondly, you should probably teach your students the meaning of respect. Even if it means singing Aretha Franklin over and over and over again until they get the picture. Sure! It's all fine and dandy to cheer for your team. Who doesn't want their team to beat the other one? But that doesn't mean that our student fans need to yell obscenities to the other team before the game even starts.
When the game is going, please don't yell about how Niles Paul "needs to loose his scholarship" or how they need to "run the flippin' dog bat ball". (Now please understand, at the moment, we are substituting some not so lovely words with others. We don't want to offend our followig.) Yeah, get into the game. That's part of what makes football so awesome! You can get into the game and sometimes, it's like you're right on the field, in the middle of all the action.
But we shake our heads in disappointment, as we turn to look at those students who are being immature and stupid in the stands. Yeah, this particular game was not our shining moment. But we doubt if those particuar students had been on the field instead of the current players, it would have been more of a mess up. Niles Paul does not need to loose his scholarship and we did run the ball a little. So stop your stupid students, who are screaming about how they are "so angry they're gonna kick puppies. Even babies, it they're ugly.". We don't want to hear that and neither does anyone else in the stands. Shut your foul potty mouth and stop using the F-bomb against every Husker play. Grow up.
UNL, it makes us sad when we hear other student fans wishing that the Texas cheerleaders would break their arms and how they are ashamed to be Cornhuskers. It reflects badly on those students (like us) who like the enjoy the game in a ...shall we say healthy? way. We're just as sad as those students, but we can watch the game with respect for the other team. In fact, we don't clap and cheer when a Texas player is hurt or boo when said player finally gets up to walk, or in his case, hobble, off the field. Thankfully, there were other students in our section today who had enough of his trash talk and had said some stuff to him, that shut him up, at least temporarily.
Now, Texas has some rude moments of their own. First of all, if the HUSKER MARCHING BAND is playing the UNL Fight Song, TEXAS BAND! STOP PLAYING OVER US! We don't do that to you! There is no reason to try and out play the UNL fight song. Especially if you guys are winning, dumb dumbs. And to be the Texas Football player who "threw the bones" after he tackled the Husker player? Yeah, so not cool. The Cornhusker Defensive line and fans can throw the bones. Just us and ONLY us. Got it? Good.
Yes, we admit this game was depressing and Mr. Eric Hagg gave us some false hope. But all in all, it could have been worse. Stay classy, UNL and clean up your act. We will always hate student fans like those (and hopefully love you). GO HUSKERS!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
We are very disappointed in you, today. Now before you say everyone in the state of Nebraska is sad and upset, let us explain why. Yes, we know we lost the game today, but what went on at the game is what we would like to ...talk about.
First of all, the student section at the football games are uber packed, just in case you didn't know. Let's sure hope that whoever is sitting in those particular sections are not claustrophobic. Everyone attending as a student will have to be ok with their "personal bubble" being somewhat poked and prodded. We are all one big happy family for the 4 hours of the game.
Secondly, you should probably teach your students the meaning of respect. Even if it means singing Aretha Franklin over and over and over again until they get the picture. Sure! It's all fine and dandy to cheer for your team. Who doesn't want their team to beat the other one? But that doesn't mean that our student fans need to yell obscenities to the other team before the game even starts.
When the game is going, please don't yell about how Niles Paul "needs to loose his scholarship" or how they need to "run the flippin' dog bat ball". (Now please understand, at the moment, we are substituting some not so lovely words with others. We don't want to offend our followig.) Yeah, get into the game. That's part of what makes football so awesome! You can get into the game and sometimes, it's like you're right on the field, in the middle of all the action.
But we shake our heads in disappointment, as we turn to look at those students who are being immature and stupid in the stands. Yeah, this particular game was not our shining moment. But we doubt if those particuar students had been on the field instead of the current players, it would have been more of a mess up. Niles Paul does not need to loose his scholarship and we did run the ball a little. So stop your stupid students, who are screaming about how they are "so angry they're gonna kick puppies. Even babies, it they're ugly.". We don't want to hear that and neither does anyone else in the stands. Shut your foul potty mouth and stop using the F-bomb against every Husker play. Grow up.
UNL, it makes us sad when we hear other student fans wishing that the Texas cheerleaders would break their arms and how they are ashamed to be Cornhuskers. It reflects badly on those students (like us) who like the enjoy the game in a ...shall we say healthy? way. We're just as sad as those students, but we can watch the game with respect for the other team. In fact, we don't clap and cheer when a Texas player is hurt or boo when said player finally gets up to walk, or in his case, hobble, off the field. Thankfully, there were other students in our section today who had enough of his trash talk and had said some stuff to him, that shut him up, at least temporarily.
Now, Texas has some rude moments of their own. First of all, if the HUSKER MARCHING BAND is playing the UNL Fight Song, TEXAS BAND! STOP PLAYING OVER US! We don't do that to you! There is no reason to try and out play the UNL fight song. Especially if you guys are winning, dumb dumbs. And to be the Texas Football player who "threw the bones" after he tackled the Husker player? Yeah, so not cool. The Cornhusker Defensive line and fans can throw the bones. Just us and ONLY us. Got it? Good.
Yes, we admit this game was depressing and Mr. Eric Hagg gave us some false hope. But all in all, it could have been worse. Stay classy, UNL and clean up your act. We will always hate student fans like those (and hopefully love you). GO HUSKERS!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Day 16- Parking
Dear UNL,
Oh, UNL, let us take a moment to shake our heads at you. Among the several things we would like to change on campus, parking is towards the top. We aren't sure what goes on in that little mind of yours, but we would like some things explained.
First of all, i you are going to sell parking permits to students, maybe get them to their respective homes quicker? Having to start the semester is a real pain in the butt, if you don't have the permit you paid for. Strangely enough, if you have a parking permit, but campus hasn't sent it to you and hasn't told you to come pick it up (so it isn't in your possesion), and you have to park at a meter on city campus, you will get a ticket. That's just life. Because your car is registered with the University and permits are not allowed in parking meter spots. Now, UNL, we're sure you're hitting your forehead right now, muttering "Doi!" under your breath, but just hang on. So, unlucky students, get your wallets out and kiss goodbye to $30 buckaroos. Yes, you read right. $30 bucks for parking in the only place you thought you could! It's a proverbial parking limbo. You can't park on campus AND you can't park at a meter for fear of a possible ticket. UNL, if your one wish was to confuse the last, possible, minute logic out of our brains, Congratulations! You did it! And don't even start to say "You could ride the campus bus" or "Ride your bike!". Because! For some of us, our bus passes come with our permits. If we don't have our permits, there is no way we'll have a bus card! And if we had our bikes on campus, we would probably be riding them. We probably should stop this little mini-rant and catch a breath, take a breather, hit the pause button.
Another thing that has us a bit miffed, is the whole permit area thing. Yeah, you know what we are talking about. The whole Faculty-Commuter-Resident Red-Green-Blue tag... ... thing. Yeah. We went there. Ok, so we understand how it all works. You have this color coded/word labeled tag. You park in the lot with the sign that matches your tag. Yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. In the words of Ke$ha, Blah, Blah, Blah. If your tag does NOT match, oops! sorry, you CAN'T park here. AND, here's the kicker. If you're a resident (or student living on campus, for those of us not caught up on the lingo) and you want a friend (who does not live on campus) to visit, you must find a place to hid and stash their car. For, believe it or not, they are not allowed to park anywhere on campus EXCEPT the meters! If you are somehow lucky enough to get a hidden spot or park in the faculty lot, then props to you and we applaud your smarty pants-ness and sheer luck. You are in the small, smart population. The remainder of us will hang our heads in shame.
It pains us, UNL, that we can't spend time with our friends on campus, with out the fear of your strangely, unfair parking enforcement breathing down our necks. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and try to figure out new ways to buck the system).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Oh, UNL, let us take a moment to shake our heads at you. Among the several things we would like to change on campus, parking is towards the top. We aren't sure what goes on in that little mind of yours, but we would like some things explained.
First of all, i you are going to sell parking permits to students, maybe get them to their respective homes quicker? Having to start the semester is a real pain in the butt, if you don't have the permit you paid for. Strangely enough, if you have a parking permit, but campus hasn't sent it to you and hasn't told you to come pick it up (so it isn't in your possesion), and you have to park at a meter on city campus, you will get a ticket. That's just life. Because your car is registered with the University and permits are not allowed in parking meter spots. Now, UNL, we're sure you're hitting your forehead right now, muttering "Doi!" under your breath, but just hang on. So, unlucky students, get your wallets out and kiss goodbye to $30 buckaroos. Yes, you read right. $30 bucks for parking in the only place you thought you could! It's a proverbial parking limbo. You can't park on campus AND you can't park at a meter for fear of a possible ticket. UNL, if your one wish was to confuse the last, possible, minute logic out of our brains, Congratulations! You did it! And don't even start to say "You could ride the campus bus" or "Ride your bike!". Because! For some of us, our bus passes come with our permits. If we don't have our permits, there is no way we'll have a bus card! And if we had our bikes on campus, we would probably be riding them. We probably should stop this little mini-rant and catch a breath, take a breather, hit the pause button.
Another thing that has us a bit miffed, is the whole permit area thing. Yeah, you know what we are talking about. The whole Faculty-Commuter-Resident Red-Green-Blue tag... ... thing. Yeah. We went there. Ok, so we understand how it all works. You have this color coded/word labeled tag. You park in the lot with the sign that matches your tag. Yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. In the words of Ke$ha, Blah, Blah, Blah. If your tag does NOT match, oops! sorry, you CAN'T park here. AND, here's the kicker. If you're a resident (or student living on campus, for those of us not caught up on the lingo) and you want a friend (who does not live on campus) to visit, you must find a place to hid and stash their car. For, believe it or not, they are not allowed to park anywhere on campus EXCEPT the meters! If you are somehow lucky enough to get a hidden spot or park in the faculty lot, then props to you and we applaud your smarty pants-ness and sheer luck. You are in the small, smart population. The remainder of us will hang our heads in shame.
It pains us, UNL, that we can't spend time with our friends on campus, with out the fear of your strangely, unfair parking enforcement breathing down our necks. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and try to figure out new ways to buck the system).
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Day 15- Lincoln Police
Dear UNL,
Lincoln is a city of few policemen. We always think that a city of this size would have more keepers of the peace. That, maybe, possibly, Lincoln would be more like, oh let's say, Omaha or Council Bluffs, or Des Moines. But *shrugs* guess not. The Lincoln Police are far and few between, here in the Star City.
Since we started at UNL, a year and so many months ago (something like 3), we have only seen a handful of cop cars in the area. Now, granted, Lincoln is not a city of much violence and destruction, but our traffic? Oh our goodness! The traffic really is horrible.
Maybe not as bad as some places. Take New York, for instance. But we, at least, thought we would see cops everywhere. Unfortunately, we must hang our heads in sadness. Looking for cop cars whilst driving around Lincoln, is like looking for a wooly mammoth in Texas.
Strangely enough, there seem to be bi-monthly "keepers of the peace" meetings in the parking lot on City Campus, by Memorial Stadium. Why they gather there, we shall never know. UNL, if you find out, please fill us in! We are very curious. When the city police, campus police, sheriff's posse, state patrol, highway patrol, and rent a cops have a little pow wow, we start to wonder.... We suppose that Lincoln is crazier than we ever thought. Who knew?!
Keep us safe, crazy patrol men! Be your sneaky, little ninja selves. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and wonder where in the world the Po Po's are)!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 14- Sno Rush
Dear UNL,
We would like to share something with you. Way back when, last year, there used to be this nifty fifty, little place at the mall. A little place of beauty, deliciousness, and amazing-ness. This little "hole in the wall", as some might put it, was our little place of leisure. It kept us sane and gave us an out. NOW, IT'S GONE! Whatever will we do?
What was this place? You ask. It was Sno Rush. An awesome sno cone place with CHEAP sno cones. We even used our Pogo Cards to get free snocones! There were millions & millions of different flavors. You were able to choose just one OR combine them! We would always try something new. To make it even better, they always played really really good movies while we waited.
Imagine our surprise when, we walked into to the mall, and *le GASP* It's GONE! killa and I just about died right there in the walkway. Our favorite little spot to swap our gossip! We were even KNOWN! And it was ripped away from us. We weren't even asked.
Unfortunately, there isn't anything we can do about it. Buut we will find a new place. Another place that will serve as our amazing, mall-walking refreshment provider. It may take a couple of tries, but no worries, UNL. We'll take care of it. Thanks for nothing..... :/ Stay classy, UNL. We will always blame you!!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
We would like to share something with you. Way back when, last year, there used to be this nifty fifty, little place at the mall. A little place of beauty, deliciousness, and amazing-ness. This little "hole in the wall", as some might put it, was our little place of leisure. It kept us sane and gave us an out. NOW, IT'S GONE! Whatever will we do?
What was this place? You ask. It was Sno Rush. An awesome sno cone place with CHEAP sno cones. We even used our Pogo Cards to get free snocones! There were millions & millions of different flavors. You were able to choose just one OR combine them! We would always try something new. To make it even better, they always played really really good movies while we waited.
Imagine our surprise when, we walked into to the mall, and *le GASP* It's GONE! killa and I just about died right there in the walkway. Our favorite little spot to swap our gossip! We were even KNOWN! And it was ripped away from us. We weren't even asked.
Unfortunately, there isn't anything we can do about it. Buut we will find a new place. Another place that will serve as our amazing, mall-walking refreshment provider. It may take a couple of tries, but no worries, UNL. We'll take care of it. Thanks for nothing..... :/ Stay classy, UNL. We will always blame you!!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 13- Campus Squirrels
Dear UNL,
Many a student have said you have a rodent infestation. We, however, think that the current population in question, is in fact, one of the reasons we look forward to class everyday. The population that we are talking about is not the abundance of football or basketball players(though we do enjoy campus celebrities), or students who have appeared to have dressed in the dark. We are in fact talking about.... wait for iiiit! SQUIRRELS!
Yes, the small animal that has made it's debut in Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The small creature that eats acorns and has a fluffly tail. The adorable animal that Merlin turns into in Disney's The Sword in The Stone. Do you know what we are talking about? A tad bit bigger than a common, domesticated rat, short ears, paws and bouncy hind legs with a FLUFFY tail!
They are everywhere on campus and provide hours upon hours of entertainment for us. killa has a squirrel admirerer/stalker who sits outside the window and tries to share it's dinner or talk about it's life. It seems to know when the window is open and sits on the tree branch exactly level with killa's window. It doesn't seem to care if we respond or not, content to just sit and nibble on it's acorn with practiced ease. We do not, however, know if it is a boy or a girl, so naming it is on hold for the time being. Bare with us, UNL, we will name it soon. PROMISE!
barney on the other hand, has a squirrel that loves to attack with acorns. For some reason, everytime barney walks by this particular tree, acorns rain down with incredible accuracy towards her head. Acorn welts have been present on barney and we don't seem to understand it. The cute little squirrel chitters and squeeaks and talks. Then out of nowhere, a battle cry is heard and the attack is started. barney has tried to walk around the tree a different way, but alas. Little devil squirrel has far aim. barney has even tried talking to the manipulative squirrel. But the squirrel must be crazy, for it will take no offers of surrender whatsoever. barney just has to watch out for the crazy squirrel when on campus.
Now we have heard some talk about students drop kicking the squirrels if they run across their path. Please, UNL, talk to your squirrel representative and have them read this letter, so they are aware of the dangers of scampering across the path of the stressed out and somewhat narcacisstic student. If they are drop kicked, who knows where they will end up. Texas, Kansas, maybe even Washington. And that would be horrible.
Despite the acorn launching problems, we will still love the squirrels. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Many a student have said you have a rodent infestation. We, however, think that the current population in question, is in fact, one of the reasons we look forward to class everyday. The population that we are talking about is not the abundance of football or basketball players(though we do enjoy campus celebrities), or students who have appeared to have dressed in the dark. We are in fact talking about.... wait for iiiit! SQUIRRELS!
Yes, the small animal that has made it's debut in Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The small creature that eats acorns and has a fluffly tail. The adorable animal that Merlin turns into in Disney's The Sword in The Stone. Do you know what we are talking about? A tad bit bigger than a common, domesticated rat, short ears, paws and bouncy hind legs with a FLUFFY tail!
They are everywhere on campus and provide hours upon hours of entertainment for us. killa has a squirrel admirerer/stalker who sits outside the window and tries to share it's dinner or talk about it's life. It seems to know when the window is open and sits on the tree branch exactly level with killa's window. It doesn't seem to care if we respond or not, content to just sit and nibble on it's acorn with practiced ease. We do not, however, know if it is a boy or a girl, so naming it is on hold for the time being. Bare with us, UNL, we will name it soon. PROMISE!
barney on the other hand, has a squirrel that loves to attack with acorns. For some reason, everytime barney walks by this particular tree, acorns rain down with incredible accuracy towards her head. Acorn welts have been present on barney and we don't seem to understand it. The cute little squirrel chitters and squeeaks and talks. Then out of nowhere, a battle cry is heard and the attack is started. barney has tried to walk around the tree a different way, but alas. Little devil squirrel has far aim. barney has even tried talking to the manipulative squirrel. But the squirrel must be crazy, for it will take no offers of surrender whatsoever. barney just has to watch out for the crazy squirrel when on campus.
Now we have heard some talk about students drop kicking the squirrels if they run across their path. Please, UNL, talk to your squirrel representative and have them read this letter, so they are aware of the dangers of scampering across the path of the stressed out and somewhat narcacisstic student. If they are drop kicked, who knows where they will end up. Texas, Kansas, maybe even Washington. And that would be horrible.
Despite the acorn launching problems, we will still love the squirrels. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Day 12- Campus Celebrities
Dear UNL,
Imagine with us: you're walking down the sidewalk in front of Memorial Stadium and you notice a group of athletic looking guys walking in front of you. You know the type, sport logo'd backpacks, longsleeve shirts, school lanyards dangling from the pockets of their basketball shorts or slouchy sweat pants, and socks with their adidas slides. You think nothing of it until you see the little, laminated football helmet dangling off a guy's backpack, fluttering in the breeze. You admit, your interest is slightly piqued now and you hasten your walk just a bit so you can read the tag of the football player looming in front of you. You read the number, 90. 90....hmmmm, it kind of rings a bell in the deep, dark recesses of your college-fried brain. WAIT! You read the small, dark type under the helmet. Alex Henery. ALEX HENERY?! You find yourself walking behind Alex Henery. A UNL celebrity in his own right. What do you do? You scramble in your pockets to get your phone out so you can frantically text your friend "I'M WALKING BEHIND ALEX HENERY! OMG!"
Yeah, this is kind of a true story. We find ourselves texting each other everytime we see either the campus celebrities themselves, or their vehicles. UNL athletes and coaches are celebrities here in Lincoln. Whether it be meeting Bo Pelini or almost blindsiding Ndomukong Suh as you whip around the corner of Memorial Stadium. Its a rush for some, likened to running into someone such as Oprah Winfrey, Brad Pitt, or Johnny Depp. After all, they play for the BEST and GREATEST football team of all time! Why wouldn't you feel special to see one walking by you on Campus? We most certainly do! It makes our day sometimes. Honest engine.
Stay classy UNL! We will always love you.
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Imagine with us: you're walking down the sidewalk in front of Memorial Stadium and you notice a group of athletic looking guys walking in front of you. You know the type, sport logo'd backpacks, longsleeve shirts, school lanyards dangling from the pockets of their basketball shorts or slouchy sweat pants, and socks with their adidas slides. You think nothing of it until you see the little, laminated football helmet dangling off a guy's backpack, fluttering in the breeze. You admit, your interest is slightly piqued now and you hasten your walk just a bit so you can read the tag of the football player looming in front of you. You read the number, 90. 90....hmmmm, it kind of rings a bell in the deep, dark recesses of your college-fried brain. WAIT! You read the small, dark type under the helmet. Alex Henery. ALEX HENERY?! You find yourself walking behind Alex Henery. A UNL celebrity in his own right. What do you do? You scramble in your pockets to get your phone out so you can frantically text your friend "I'M WALKING BEHIND ALEX HENERY! OMG!"
Yeah, this is kind of a true story. We find ourselves texting each other everytime we see either the campus celebrities themselves, or their vehicles. UNL athletes and coaches are celebrities here in Lincoln. Whether it be meeting Bo Pelini or almost blindsiding Ndomukong Suh as you whip around the corner of Memorial Stadium. Its a rush for some, likened to running into someone such as Oprah Winfrey, Brad Pitt, or Johnny Depp. After all, they play for the BEST and GREATEST football team of all time! Why wouldn't you feel special to see one walking by you on Campus? We most certainly do! It makes our day sometimes. Honest engine.
Stay classy UNL! We will always love you.
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Day 11- Parking Enforcement
Dear UNL,
Let us just start out by saying, this letter might get a little heated. We consider this fair warning.
We have a bone to pick with UNL Parking Enforcement. We guess it's not so much with your ticketing habits (which we will get to, no worries) but with your overall manners.
Just because you get to wear those shirts with "Parking Enforcement" printed across the back, doesn't mean you guys are the almighty! Yes, you have a little more power than the average, vehicle driving student. BUT it doesn't give you a pass to act like a jerk!
Now, don't get us wrong. Not all parking enforcement employees are jerks. That is simply not true. Some of your employees have been quite nice to us. But there are a select few, we've seen multiple times. Who we are definitely not fans of.
Sometimes you guys throw caution and care to the wind and park your truck.... or bike... wherever the heck you want to! Then, yes there's more, leave it there for more than 5 minutes as you go inside to quench your "manly hunger", as you have put it, with as much masculinity as you could muster. Your truck, out in the middle of the street, is a real pain in the butt! Go park your stupid truck and then go eat like a man.
ALSO! If you're going to give tickets out like a little masculine, ticket-giving fairy, BE CONSISTENT! If two vehicles are parked in front of the meters, have been there the SAME amount of time, they both have commuter student permits, and one still has time left on the meter (barney's car), wouldn't it make sense to give the ticket to the one who was parked at the EXPIRED METER?!?!?! Yeah, that's what we thought. We saw you (well, barney saw you anyway) walk over to barney's car (who still had 25 minutes left, we might add) check it out, slap a nasty yellow envelope of doom under the wiper and move to the other said car. barney witnesses in confusion as you look at the car,notice the expired meter, and walk away.
WHAT THE HECK?! Was that really necessary?! We're already broke college students as it is! We think you must be Texas Longhorns in disguise. We're on to you....
Please be fair when ticketing. We don't enjoy unjust monetary payments. Stay classy, UNL. We will always (well, maybe not always) love you.
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Let us just start out by saying, this letter might get a little heated. We consider this fair warning.
We have a bone to pick with UNL Parking Enforcement. We guess it's not so much with your ticketing habits (which we will get to, no worries) but with your overall manners.
Just because you get to wear those shirts with "Parking Enforcement" printed across the back, doesn't mean you guys are the almighty! Yes, you have a little more power than the average, vehicle driving student. BUT it doesn't give you a pass to act like a jerk!
Now, don't get us wrong. Not all parking enforcement employees are jerks. That is simply not true. Some of your employees have been quite nice to us. But there are a select few, we've seen multiple times. Who we are definitely not fans of.
Sometimes you guys throw caution and care to the wind and park your truck.... or bike... wherever the heck you want to! Then, yes there's more, leave it there for more than 5 minutes as you go inside to quench your "manly hunger", as you have put it, with as much masculinity as you could muster. Your truck, out in the middle of the street, is a real pain in the butt! Go park your stupid truck and then go eat like a man.
ALSO! If you're going to give tickets out like a little masculine, ticket-giving fairy, BE CONSISTENT! If two vehicles are parked in front of the meters, have been there the SAME amount of time, they both have commuter student permits, and one still has time left on the meter (barney's car), wouldn't it make sense to give the ticket to the one who was parked at the EXPIRED METER?!?!?! Yeah, that's what we thought. We saw you (well, barney saw you anyway) walk over to barney's car (who still had 25 minutes left, we might add) check it out, slap a nasty yellow envelope of doom under the wiper and move to the other said car. barney witnesses in confusion as you look at the car,notice the expired meter, and walk away.
WHAT THE HECK?! Was that really necessary?! We're already broke college students as it is! We think you must be Texas Longhorns in disguise. We're on to you....
Please be fair when ticketing. We don't enjoy unjust monetary payments. Stay classy, UNL. We will always (well, maybe not always) love you.
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Day 10- Nebraskan Layers Part 1
Dear UNL,
You Nebraskans! You gotta wear like 17 layers! A cami under a tank top under a t-shirt under a long sleeved shirt under a vest under a cardigan under a sweater under a zip up hoodie under a sweatshirt under a softshell jacket under a windbreaker under a heavy coat under a winter coat.... At the end, everyone looks like the Michellen Man and no one can walk straight.
We shake our heads in wonder. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you and your strangely dressed inhabitants.
Sincerely,
killa & barney
You Nebraskans! You gotta wear like 17 layers! A cami under a tank top under a t-shirt under a long sleeved shirt under a vest under a cardigan under a sweater under a zip up hoodie under a sweatshirt under a softshell jacket under a windbreaker under a heavy coat under a winter coat.... At the end, everyone looks like the Michellen Man and no one can walk straight.
We shake our heads in wonder. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you and your strangely dressed inhabitants.
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 9- Clothing
Dear UNL,
Did everyone lose the ability to dress themselves after high school? Seriously. We have never seen more clothing catastrophies than walking around city campus, UNL. Since when is the "Cowgirl-gangsta-chic" look in? Yes my friends, we have seen several who are sporting this new trend. One cowboy boot pulled up and the other cowboy boot slouched down. Oh, did we mention these were suede cowboy boots?
If you are a guy, shorty-shorts are a no no. However, if you are upwards of 60 years of age.....DEFINITELY a NO-to-the-NO, absolutely, no way in all that is zombie.
Buuuuuuut....Fashion kill of the week (or to those of our followers who are on the elite side of things, faux paux) goes to, drumroll please...LEGGINGS AS PANTS! Yup, you read right. We have actually witnessed this phenomenon several times at UNL. WHO COULD POSSIBLY THINK THIS IS ATTRACTIVE?
Please UNL, for our sake....wear pants. *Sigh* Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and hate leggings as pants).
Sincerely,
barney & killa
Did everyone lose the ability to dress themselves after high school? Seriously. We have never seen more clothing catastrophies than walking around city campus, UNL. Since when is the "Cowgirl-gangsta-chic" look in? Yes my friends, we have seen several who are sporting this new trend. One cowboy boot pulled up and the other cowboy boot slouched down. Oh, did we mention these were suede cowboy boots?
If you are a guy, shorty-shorts are a no no. However, if you are upwards of 60 years of age.....DEFINITELY a NO-to-the-NO, absolutely, no way in all that is zombie.
Buuuuuuut....Fashion kill of the week (or to those of our followers who are on the elite side of things, faux paux) goes to, drumroll please...LEGGINGS AS PANTS! Yup, you read right. We have actually witnessed this phenomenon several times at UNL. WHO COULD POSSIBLY THINK THIS IS ATTRACTIVE?
Please UNL, for our sake....wear pants. *Sigh* Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you (and hate leggings as pants).
Sincerely,
barney & killa
Day 8- Cell Phone Bathroom Etiquette
Dear UNL,
PLEASE TEACH YOUR STUDENTS SOME MANNERS! ANSWERING YOUR PHONE IN THE BATHROOM IS RUDE, GROSS, AND SOMEWHAT DISTURBING!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
PLEASE TEACH YOUR STUDENTS SOME MANNERS! ANSWERING YOUR PHONE IN THE BATHROOM IS RUDE, GROSS, AND SOMEWHAT DISTURBING!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Day 7- Anthony M. C/O UNL
Dear UNL,
You are very smart to hire nice people to work in City Union eatery. More specifically, at sbarro, the Italian eatery. Yes, on a side note, we do love the word eatery. Eatery, eatery, eatery. Back to our letter of thanks. At the sbarro on City campus, is a very nice Assistant Manager named Anthony M.
Mr. Anthony M, YOU ROCK n ROLL!! Why does this Anthony M, "rock n roll", you might ask? We were strapped for cash. Ok, actually, barney was strapped for cash. More specifically, she thought she had $6.00 and killa was a team player and lent barney her last dollar in her possesion. So barney thought she had $7.00... and some change. Logical, right? Welll, turns out barney is stupid and she had one less dollar than she thought. But didn't realize this until after she had her food and drink cup and Mr. Anthony M had rung her up.
She goes to get her money for her total, $7.68. But alas, she only had $6 dollars and some change. Mr. Anthony M. (the rockstar) takes her money, not like a mugger.... that would be sad, and gives her the drink..... Wait for ittttt! FOR FREEEEEEE! Barney is forever indebted to Mr. Anthony M.
Mr. Anthony M. You get the "Awesomest, sbarro worker EVER" award. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you! ( and Anthony M too... barney promised)
Sincerely,
killa & barney
You are very smart to hire nice people to work in City Union eatery. More specifically, at sbarro, the Italian eatery. Yes, on a side note, we do love the word eatery. Eatery, eatery, eatery. Back to our letter of thanks. At the sbarro on City campus, is a very nice Assistant Manager named Anthony M.
Mr. Anthony M, YOU ROCK n ROLL!! Why does this Anthony M, "rock n roll", you might ask? We were strapped for cash. Ok, actually, barney was strapped for cash. More specifically, she thought she had $6.00 and killa was a team player and lent barney her last dollar in her possesion. So barney thought she had $7.00... and some change. Logical, right? Welll, turns out barney is stupid and she had one less dollar than she thought. But didn't realize this until after she had her food and drink cup and Mr. Anthony M had rung her up.
She goes to get her money for her total, $7.68. But alas, she only had $6 dollars and some change. Mr. Anthony M. (the rockstar) takes her money, not like a mugger.... that would be sad, and gives her the drink..... Wait for ittttt! FOR FREEEEEEE! Barney is forever indebted to Mr. Anthony M.
Mr. Anthony M. You get the "Awesomest, sbarro worker EVER" award. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you! ( and Anthony M too... barney promised)
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Monday, October 4, 2010
Day 6- Corner Deli, ECU
Dear UNL,
All throughout our academic lives, up to this point (elementary - high school), we've been subject to food that is subpar and less than amazing; at most of our schools anyway. We cross our fingers & click our heels in hopes that our university food will be beyond our highest expectations.
For those of us who don't live on campus, we are lucky. We are not forced to endure food that might possibly be, to put it plainly, disgusting. But alas. Those of who are "trapped" in a dorm, are the ones who are allowed to eat in the university cafeterias.
UNL Students! Have NO FEAR! We are here to slowly, letter by letter, shed some light on places that are delicious. The first stop on our Food Train is the Corner Deli, East Campus Union.
The quaint little eatery is located on the first floor of the East Campus Union, across from the bowling alley. Just looking into the place from the outside is a feast for your senses. Colors your eyes see & scents your nosed smells. Already it seems 3,000,000 times better than our high school cafeteria. Major Brownie Points.
If you want something prepared, step forward to the counter. The menu boards offer many choices to quench your hunger. Pizzas, sandwiches, paninis, for meat lovers & vegetarians alike! Something here for everyone. Prepared just for you, just the way you like it (most of the time).
Then choose your drink. Do you want the soda fountain (which offers only Pepsi...) or a vast array of bottled beverages? So many choices for the very indecisive college student. Then you turn around & the choices grow into a mountain of difficulty.
Do you want to add soup? Or maybe popcorn perhaps. Skittles, snickers, or twix? No, no most definitely not. The 2-for-1 cookie deal catches your eye. That's the one! You grab it, pay & head out.
this place really is a little hidden treasure. So many options that you never really have to eat the same meal twice. It doesn't take a chunk out of your wallet & it's quick & delicious! Promise you won't be disappointed!
Thank you, UNL, for offering a delicious alternative. Stay Classy UNL! We will always love you!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
All throughout our academic lives, up to this point (elementary - high school), we've been subject to food that is subpar and less than amazing; at most of our schools anyway. We cross our fingers & click our heels in hopes that our university food will be beyond our highest expectations.
For those of us who don't live on campus, we are lucky. We are not forced to endure food that might possibly be, to put it plainly, disgusting. But alas. Those of who are "trapped" in a dorm, are the ones who are allowed to eat in the university cafeterias.
UNL Students! Have NO FEAR! We are here to slowly, letter by letter, shed some light on places that are delicious. The first stop on our Food Train is the Corner Deli, East Campus Union.
The quaint little eatery is located on the first floor of the East Campus Union, across from the bowling alley. Just looking into the place from the outside is a feast for your senses. Colors your eyes see & scents your nosed smells. Already it seems 3,000,000 times better than our high school cafeteria. Major Brownie Points.
If you want something prepared, step forward to the counter. The menu boards offer many choices to quench your hunger. Pizzas, sandwiches, paninis, for meat lovers & vegetarians alike! Something here for everyone. Prepared just for you, just the way you like it (most of the time).
Then choose your drink. Do you want the soda fountain (which offers only Pepsi...) or a vast array of bottled beverages? So many choices for the very indecisive college student. Then you turn around & the choices grow into a mountain of difficulty.
Do you want to add soup? Or maybe popcorn perhaps. Skittles, snickers, or twix? No, no most definitely not. The 2-for-1 cookie deal catches your eye. That's the one! You grab it, pay & head out.
this place really is a little hidden treasure. So many options that you never really have to eat the same meal twice. It doesn't take a chunk out of your wallet & it's quick & delicious! Promise you won't be disappointed!
Thank you, UNL, for offering a delicious alternative. Stay Classy UNL! We will always love you!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Friday, October 1, 2010
Day 5- DJ Gomes, C/O UNL
Dear UNL,
Yes, sometimes we have our blonde moments. After all, who doesn't? You don't have to actually be blonde to have these moments, though, unfortunately.
One of these "such moments" happened a while back, but it wasn't until recently, that we realized how dumb we really were.
We were on City Campus, in the parking lot by Memorial Stadium, driving around aimlesly when We decided to finally pull into a space. As the car was turned off, we looked around at all the cars and noticed a black charger with the plates "DJGOMES". Cool plates, right?! Obviously, the driver of the vehicle was a radio personality or skilled at providing music at a party. If only it was that easy.
Killa is the smart one of the two of us. DJ Gomes is not a cool, hip personality Disc Jockey name. It's DeJon Gomes, senior safety of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln Cornhusker Football team. He's a football player. We had no idea at first.
DJ Gomes, we are truely sorry. Our moments are more than some. We hope this doesn't throw off your game. Keep going strong! Please accept our sincere apologies.
UNL, it was an honest mistake. Don't hold it against us. Laugh with us instead. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Yes, sometimes we have our blonde moments. After all, who doesn't? You don't have to actually be blonde to have these moments, though, unfortunately.
One of these "such moments" happened a while back, but it wasn't until recently, that we realized how dumb we really were.
We were on City Campus, in the parking lot by Memorial Stadium, driving around aimlesly when We decided to finally pull into a space. As the car was turned off, we looked around at all the cars and noticed a black charger with the plates "DJGOMES". Cool plates, right?! Obviously, the driver of the vehicle was a radio personality or skilled at providing music at a party. If only it was that easy.
Killa is the smart one of the two of us. DJ Gomes is not a cool, hip personality Disc Jockey name. It's DeJon Gomes, senior safety of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln Cornhusker Football team. He's a football player. We had no idea at first.
DJ Gomes, we are truely sorry. Our moments are more than some. We hope this doesn't throw off your game. Keep going strong! Please accept our sincere apologies.
UNL, it was an honest mistake. Don't hold it against us. Laugh with us instead. Stay classy, UNL. We will always love you!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Day 4- What is with the STARING?!
Dear UNL
Pheromones: Substance released in minute amounts by an animal that causes a specific response when detected by another animal. (Webster's Dictionary)
Mean-amones: A chemical emitted that triggers evil glares from random girls, due to jealousy and rage; source of chemical....unknown. (killa's brilliant mind)
Those two little words up there have been on our minds for quite some time. We don't really know what it is about UNL, or rather Lincoln females in general, but those blasted, bloody "Mean-amones" are out to get us. We mean, yeah sure, everyone has a few stalkers, right? But females that (some of them, anyway) glare at you with open hatred every time you see them?!?! There is definitely something wrong with that.
It all started back in September, we want to say, of our first year. The crazy girl in the Dairy Store who decided she was going to watch us the whole time she was eating. If barney got up to go get something, her dagger shooting eyes were following, throwing harpoons at her back. Even killa had no idea what was going on. Did either of us know that girl? No, not in any way what so ever... Did that stop the crazy, psychopathic girl? Not in the slightest. We wish we could say it stops here.... That was our only crazy lady.
Thaaat would make it much to easy, dear UNL. Since then we've each racked up at least 7 or 8 people who are consistent.... and millions and millions of random females who feel it best to glare the heck out of us. Now, don't get into a tizzy. If we had done something completely and utterly awesome, something that everyone would be jealous of, then we'd understand completely. But that's the problem. We have no idea what we did that has garnered us this , to put it plainly, unwanted attention. We wish we had something to stop it as well. Magic powers, shields, mustard gas...maybe even a mean-amone sniffing dragon.
We don't understand and wish you could shed some light onto the situation. It's really starting to get us down. But don't get us wrong. We still love you! Stay classy, UNL!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Pheromones: Substance released in minute amounts by an animal that causes a specific response when detected by another animal. (Webster's Dictionary)
Mean-amones: A chemical emitted that triggers evil glares from random girls, due to jealousy and rage; source of chemical....unknown. (killa's brilliant mind)
Those two little words up there have been on our minds for quite some time. We don't really know what it is about UNL, or rather Lincoln females in general, but those blasted, bloody "Mean-amones" are out to get us. We mean, yeah sure, everyone has a few stalkers, right? But females that (some of them, anyway) glare at you with open hatred every time you see them?!?! There is definitely something wrong with that.
It all started back in September, we want to say, of our first year. The crazy girl in the Dairy Store who decided she was going to watch us the whole time she was eating. If barney got up to go get something, her dagger shooting eyes were following, throwing harpoons at her back. Even killa had no idea what was going on. Did either of us know that girl? No, not in any way what so ever... Did that stop the crazy, psychopathic girl? Not in the slightest. We wish we could say it stops here.... That was our only crazy lady.
Thaaat would make it much to easy, dear UNL. Since then we've each racked up at least 7 or 8 people who are consistent.... and millions and millions of random females who feel it best to glare the heck out of us. Now, don't get into a tizzy. If we had done something completely and utterly awesome, something that everyone would be jealous of, then we'd understand completely. But that's the problem. We have no idea what we did that has garnered us this , to put it plainly, unwanted attention. We wish we had something to stop it as well. Magic powers, shields, mustard gas...maybe even a mean-amone sniffing dragon.
We don't understand and wish you could shed some light onto the situation. It's really starting to get us down. But don't get us wrong. We still love you! Stay classy, UNL!
Sincerely,
killa & barney
Monday, September 27, 2010
Day 3- Drivers
Dear UNL (and people driving between Lincoln and Omaha, specifically on I80)
The left lane is the FAST lane. Not the I-feel-like-going-five-miles-under-the-speed-limit-lane.
That is all.
Sincerely,
barney & killa
The left lane is the FAST lane. Not the I-feel-like-going-five-miles-under-the-speed-limit-lane.
That is all.
Sincerely,
barney & killa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)